Snowflakes That Stay on My Nose and Eyelashes...

I am sleep deprived and therefore, easily frustrated. Instead of continuing to take it out on the dog, because really, she neither has double pink eye nor does she have bronchitis, both of which are currently inflicting Parker. She also has not been waking me up several times throughout the night with screaming, wailing cries wanting only to be held. Also, it was Parker, not Abby, who forced me to cancel 2 play dates in the last 48 hours. Play dates that would have provided me adult conversation with veteran moms.

I would also like to mention that because of my ill son, I also missed out on some valueable gym time.

So in an effort to highlight that, seemingly elusive, silver lining, I am going to remind myself of a few of my favorite things.

Parker's smile, toothless as it is, it is my sunshine!

Parker's giggle when I tickle him.When Parker sees me in the morning and smiles like I am the bestest in the whole world. He even does this funny arm twirl thing. I used to think this was an indication of some sort of neurological issue, but have come to see it as an endearing sign of excitement.

Watching Josh try to figure out Parker's toys when he plays with Parker. He is usually able to do this in a few minutes...usually.

Seeing Parker light up when Josh walks in the door after being away at work all day.

Nose kisses from Parker.

When someone else gets stuck changing a poopy diaper. Now that these are fairly regular, pardon the pun, I am not so obsessed with them.

Loosing baby weight as Parker gains it. The little monkey is weighing in at just over 19 pounds and he is almost 8 month!

Watching Pfunk figure out the world around him. He is reaching for toys, trying- desperately- to crawl and we had to take out the top portion of his Pack N Play because he was pulling himself up and nearly flipping over the side.

I have favorite things, not related to Parker- flavored calorie-free water, teaching students who want to learn, laughing with people I love, holding the new baby of one of my of best friends, cooking a dinner and wanting to actually eat the leftovers the next night...wine...I really like wine.

But most of all my family and friends- my healthy happy family and friends are my favorite.

Anyone Got a 4 Leaf Clover?

My husband, Josh has the worst luck of any person I have ever met. (Aside from the lucky days when he met and married me of course, although I'm sure there are days where he would disagree...)

If you go out to eat with Josh you do not have to worry that your order may get messed up because it is almost a guarantee that Josh's will be.

We have been out to eat and the waiter took every one's order except Josh's and did not realize the over sight until we called him back over to the table. If someone comes around to fill up water glasses, they will consistently and inexplicably skip over Josh every time.

If there is fresh gum on the sidewalk, Josh will step in it.

If a bird is going to poop on someone it will be Josh. Although, I hear this is good luck, but I believe people just say that to make you feel like less of an ass since a bird just crapped on you.

Anyway, get the point? Josh just walks around with this unlucky cloud over his head.



On Friday, January 23 Josh got pulled over on his way home from work.

No, not speeding.

No, his lights weren't out.

The cop just happened to be behind Josh and just happened to run Josh's plates.


The red and blue lights start flashing- Josh pulls over, for seemingly no reason.

The cop comes up and tells Josh he is driving on a suspended license.



WhAt?! WHaT ArE YOu TalKIng AbOuT?

Apparently, a couple months ago Josh was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt. We sent in the $25 check and they never got it, so a court date was set. Some how the court date letter never got to our house. (SEE...terrible luck! I mean how many of those letters go out every day? And of course the one for Josh Phillips gets lost in the mail!) Since he did not know about the court date he did not go to court. Those of you who have been to traffic court (or any court I guess, I can only speak to traffic court) will know this means you have a Failure To Appear (FTA) strike against your licence. This, apparently, also means your licence is suspended.



That Monday, January 26 Josh went to the MVA and paid the fine and the suspension on his licence was lifted. He does have to go to court to clear everything up on that end or something. Really I'm not clear on the reasons why he has to go back to court and for the purpose of this blog, it really does not matter.



Tuesday, Janaury 27 was the night of Josh's accident mentioned in the previous post. So in the end it was good that he got pulled over on Friday because if he hadn't and totalled his car on a suspended licence, we probably would not have gotten anything from insurance.



Let me take a minute to remind you that Josh walked away virtually unharmed from the accident. Only his hand was bruised a bit, no blood and his glasses were even in tact post-impact. A few nights after the accident Josh was playing with Parker.

Again, before I go on, let me also fill you in on a nickname we have for Parker, it is "Stomper." He earned this nickname because when he is in his crib he likes to bring both legs up and slam, I mean SLAM them down on the mattress. He does this both when he is sleeping and when he is awake and ready to be picked up. He now even does this to the side of crib to turn on the music on his mobile. Thank God his crib is sturdy. He seems to like kicking. Great. I apologize in advance if my son gets all Jackie Chan on you or your kid if we ever meet up for a play date. I plan on enrolling him in karate in a couple years. The kid likes to kick, so I feel the need to try to teach him when this is appropriate.

Back to Josh and Parker playing- Josh leaned in for one of Parker's nose kisses little did Josh know the Stomper came to play. I'm not sure exactly how it went down, but Josh came downstairs holding Parker at arms length, saying, "He kicked my false tooth and I think he knocked it loose!"

Parker, of course, was giggling.

*Josh was not happy that I am putting this story in the blog and wants me to let the reading audience know that his fake tooth was the result of poor dentistry when he had his braces removed, not poor hygiene on his part. I would also like to point out that most everyone reading this had braces as a kid. how many of you lost a tooth while the braces were being removed? None? None of you? Why am I not surprised? See, terrible luck*


Flash forward to yesterday afternoon, Josh sneezed at work and the tooth officially fell out!


This afternoon Josh went to the dentist to have a tooth...um made?, but it will not be ready until Friday. And even then, it may not fit and may need to be sent back for adjustments! Eventually this will require a bridge too! Nice work Parker.


Josh has a professional job, with military officials. Employees with missing teeth do not exactly portray the desired image. So Josh has taken to super glueing his tooth in place as it is one of the front ones.


*Josh would also like me to tell you the conversation we had in the grocery store this afternoon, so you know the superglue was not his idea.*

Josh: I think I'm going to get PolyGrip for my tooth. Think that will work?



Nikki: Yeh, but I can't use PolyGrip for anything else. Get superglue, at least we can use that once you get your new tooth.


J: Can I put superglue in my mouth?!


N: Sure, why not. (When I am not sure of the outcome, this is pretty much my reply across the board. If you hear me say this, proceed at your own risk.)


We left the store with superglue.


Later that night Josh bought a 07 VW Jetta...


Who won?

Santa Fe Explorer--

I recently discovered the title of the blog is a bit of a misnomer.

I will explain.

On Tuesday, January 26 we had a bit of a snow and ice issue in our area. On his way home, Josh's car fishtailed off the road and ran through a street sign. After a little more sliding the episode ended when the driver side of his car hit a telephone poll. The passenger side airbag deployed.

Josh walked away with only a bruise on his hand.

The car was totalled.

We are amazed by how blessed we are.

It was an emotional few days, but then reality set in and we realized we were going to be forced to purchase a vehicle. We, of course, have not budgeted for said vehicle. In the world of Phillips Family Vehicle Purchasing it is my turn. However, the world is not always fair and just in the way of car purchases, so we are also staying open to the idea that it may be more economical for Josh to get a 4 door sedan(ish) type thing with good gas milage.

Now, judging by the title of this blog, you would probably guess that if it is me who in fact gets the "new" car, I would be chomping at the bit to finally get my minivan and become an ACTUAL minivan lover.

Weeellllll....

Not so much it would seem.

Long story short (don't worry, OF COURSE, I will tell you the long story) if it is me who end up with the new vehicle, I will likely end up with an 08 Ford Explorer or something similar.

Here is the story-
I was all ready to get a minivan until it was time to get a minivan. I went into panic mode. Like, wow this is it. I'm 28 and I'm going to be rocking out to NKOTB, Dave Matthews and Kayne West in a Dodge Caravan with automatic sliding side doors and Cheerio holders in the armrests. Prince's "Kiss" would no longer be blaring from my stereo. It would be replaced by "The Ants Go Marching" and other sing-alongs. No longer will it be appropriate to have "Damn the Man" and "I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying" bumper stickers. In their places would be "Baby on Board" and "I Brake for PTA Meetings" signs suction cupped to the inside of the windows.

I do not know why I went into such a panic over the very possible purchase of a minivan. I am not defined by what I drive. Actually, if you knew me in high school, you would probably disagree greatly with that statement. For those of you who did not know me then, I drove a '86 VW Golf- Raspberry in color. It sounded like a go kart, naturally. The driver side window was broken and it not have cup holders nor did it even have a tape player. I had a newer radio put in it, with a CD player, the 6 CD changer was located in the hatchback. Meaning I had to preload the CD's before I left, or I would have to pull over on the side of the road, risking life and limb to change out DMB CD's.
I once was at a party- I mean a gathering of law abiding high schoolers who were not at all partaking in any illegal underage drinking- and a girl came in and said, "Who drives the purple Golf?"

--Purple? please, clearly it was raspberry--

Fearing she hit it, I raised my hand and said, "Me."

She said, "I LOVE that car. I see it everywhere and I always wondered who drove it!"

I guess I do feel like my car is an extension of my identity and I am not ready to be an official Soccer Mom yet.

So here is the plan- (really, do you care? You must, you are still reading...)

We just put a lot of money into my Santa Fe (what I currently drive) and it has 100k miles on it. If I get the "new" car, Josh will take Fe and drive it for 2 (or so) more years. Then in 2 years during the year of the pig and summer solstice when the stars align and the moon is in Capricorn rising, Josh will take the Explorer and we will trade the Santa Fe in for my minivan. In other words, if all goes as planned I will be in a minivan on or around 2011 or 2012. I can handle this- mentally and physically.

The end result will be the same if Josh ends up getting the car this time around-- I will drive Fe into the ground for the next few years, Josh will get something sensible and in a couple years we will trade Fe in.

Either way, come 2012-ish, Fe is a goner.

Another reason I am not currently rolling in a MV is that the one I thought I liked, a Nissan Quest, was SO unbearably uncomfortable that during the test drive I had to pull over in a parking lot to attempt to readjust. When we got back to the dealer lot, I told the salesman that in the short test drive I think I developed several knots in my back, he replied, "Well, you can adjust the seats."

Really now?
Really?

Every time we go car shopping I come home frustrated. But then I see this face...

...and I mean really...

Um...This May Be Awkward

So I raised a little hell about only having- now 2- followers. *Do not let the word only discourage you, Paul and Nancy. You are both Aces in my book!*
Anyway, since complaining...ok whining about not having as many followers as Nancy, I have been asked by several of you how you can actually become followers.

I will pull back the curtain.

I --

I don't know.

I'm fairly sure it requires a gmail account, blood sample and adopting a small child from a foreign country. Seriously. I think you at least need a gmail account. Past that, I got nothin'.

**UPDATE**- I wrote this and then did some investigatging and changed some of my settings. I'm still not exactly sure how you become a follower, BUT you should be able to leave a comment!! Be nice or I will make it nearly impossible again!

In other news, I foresee a very awkward, I mean more awkward than normal, first kiss in Parker's future. Since the boy does not have any teeth, and there is very little- nothing in fact- I can do to make that happen any quicker coupled with the fact that he now goes into a full blown tantrum at the mere mention of a sucky cup, I have moved on and am trying to teach him other new things.

P.S. I thought I had a bit longer until I had to deal with temper tantrums, but he is my son (read earlier posts related to all my breakdowns in Babies R Us) and his zodiac sign is cancer, as is mine. I fear that in the very near future it is a real possibility that both of us will be screaming and crying on the floor of the local Safeway in a tiff related to the purchasing (or non-purchasing) of Skittles in the checkout line.

Although come to think of it, we were not far off from this the other day. In a Safeway actually. I just needed to pop in for a few quick things. (Just typing that sentence makes me chuckle. Mommies very rarely- if ever- are able to pop in to anything real quick- be it Safeway, jeans, the bathroom...). Pfunk was sitting in the cart. His coat and monkey hat were still on because we were in the produce section and it is darn chilly there. This woman, who had a gaggle of children with her, looked at Parker, looked at me, and said, "Um. His hands are really red." I looked at the hands, looked at her and said:

"Yep."

And rolled on. What I wanted to say was, "Shut the hell up old bag! Why don't you wipe the snot off of junior face before his siter, Sally licks it off herself. Also, your other daughter needs a haircut as she cannot see through those thick bangs she's got going on."

Through the store we kept coming across things like this. People just being generally unaware of how to act in public.

So I did it.

I left a cart, half full of food and other items, in the middle of the meat section. I grabbed Pfunk, my wallet and the recycled grocery bags and we left the store, got in the car and drive across the street to Giant. God that felt good!

In other news related to people saying things they shouldn't. The other day when it was, admittingly, bitter cold outside, I went to the gym and then to get coffee for Josh and me at a local place on my way home. I had just come from the gym and was wearing a fleece and shorts. My plan was to actually just pop in to the coffee place and pop back into the car. No lingering. Popping was possible in this case because I was without Pmoney.

One woman in the coffee shop commented on my bare legs. Her comment was more of a curious question than anything, "Aren't you chilly?" I replied that I just came from the gym and was actually still kind of warm on top, so I could handle 3 minutes of chilly legs. She smiled. Interaction concluded.

As I am leaving the store, this large, bundled up "lady" is walking in. She looks me up and down and says in a loud unfriendly tone. "ARe YoU CRazY?!"

Being caught off guard, I mumbled something about just coming from the gym and left. When I got to my car I realized how rude this "lady" was. I wish I had the nerve (not really) to say, "Yes, I am actually." Then promptly punch her. What if I was crazy? She really took her life in her own hands there. After a few sleepless nights due to a seething teething Pfunk, I can be pretty crazy and cannot be held responsible for my reactions. Just ask Josh.

Wow. That was quite a P.S.

Anyway, I am trying to teach Parker to clap and kiss. Not at the same time. Although that maybe an improvement over what he currently thinks kissing actually is. It takes about 10 kisses on his face and me repeating "kisses" for him to even attempt the act. When he does attmept a kiss, he comes at me, mouth WIDE open and goes straight for my nose, although he will settle for a mouthful of cheek.

Little ladies of 2020(ish), I apologize. All I can say is bring a napkin or two because if things do not improve, I can honestly tell you that you will get wet on this ride.

Clapping is of no interest to him and can go the way of the sucky cup as far as he is concerned.

On a Serious Note

Before I begin, Parker, Josh and I are fine. This is just a reflection of goings on that my mind will not let go of.

I only know the basic facts, so unfortunately I cannot soften this event with comforting details. I found out that last week a little girl, 2 1/2 years old, passed away. She choked on a carrot. She was an only child and went to the day care at the gym the same times as Parker. He did not really play with her since they are so far apart in age, but I remember seeing her play with the other kids.
Her funeral was last night. There was an open casket. I did not go, but I know people who did.

Everyone at the gym, even people who do not have kids in the day care, were talking about this horrible thing. Calvert County is small and things like this do not go unmentioned among the community members.

I don't know, and I'm not sure I would want to know, why some babies are born healthy, some not so much. Some go onto to be parents themselves and some fall victims to tragedies like this poor girl. I'm just feeling really thankful that I am able to hold my little monkey and listen to him laugh and watch him figure things out in the world around him. He is starting to eat those baby teething cookies. I can't help but let my mind wander. I know that he cannot eat pureed peas forever, but right now that is my plan!

Sucky Cups

I have bought, tried and now apparently collect the following sippy (or sucky as the title of this entry states) cups:
Baby Einstein- This one was one of the infamous Christmas gifts FROM SANTA..not mommy...SANTA. His highness does not like this one because, and I'm guessing here because he is a man of few words, the top is hard and his little baby nose hits it when he attempts to drink. I fear this is a problem that will plague him throughout his life as I have this same problem due to the size of my large Italian nose. Apparently he inherited this from me. Sorry kid.

Dr. Brown- This one I can also kind of understand, the flow is kind of faster than he is used to. Yes, much like all medicines and foods I give the monkey, I also test his sucky cups. Honestly, at this time, this cup is not my fav either.

Nuk- This one was also a gift from SANTA. The top of it is very similar to that of the nipple, still hate that word, of a bottle. He was into for about 2 or 3 weeks and then for no good reason he started hating, no loathing, no filling with rage from the depths of his soul at the pure sight of this cup. Catching a glimpse of this sucky cup will send him into a screaming fit that would put any horror movie hobag to shame.

Advent- I just bought this today. They come in packs of 2 for about $8, making them the most expensive in my collection. He was ok with this for for a few sips, but then lost interest.

Take a toss- These are basically slightly glorified tupperware in rainbow colors. They, like all the other sucky cups, are spill proof and cost about 50 cents each. I got them at my baby shower in May from some lovely guest. Do I even need to say this next sentence? These, OF COURSE, seem to be acceptable for now, but still he will not drink more than an ounce and a half out of it before swishing up his face and arching his back in a temper tantrum fashion.

The advent cup I bought today was an impulse buy. I heard good things about them and needed to go to Babies R Us anyway to return some safety items. No, we have not decided against being safe, but we bought something for keeping cords out of Parker's reach and it didn't work out. Josh and I decided we needed to step up the safety precautions the other day when Parker was wondering around the living room in his walker and realized he was at the perfect level and could very easily reach the TV cord, plug and outlets. I put those plastic things in the outlets and redid the cord situation, so all is well in that area. While I was at the baby store I also bought a few other safety items including those things you put on doorknobs so the rugrats can't open the door. I knew I needed these because every time I flush the toilet he laughs.

Sidenote: So he laughs when I flush the toilet, but cries when I vacuum. This makes me realize how much I go to the bathroom and how little I vacuum. Both are depressing realizations.

Anyway, I fear the things I will be fishing out of our toilets in the very near future. That was until I bought these doorknob covers. HOWEVER, after putting the covers on the bathroom door, I realized that the door can be opened simply by pulling, not necessarily turning, the knob. Which means the knobby turning protectors thingies are null and void. Which means I'm guessing I should just start unraveling some coat hangers now, so I can snake out whatever Parker tries to flush. I'm guessing the first thing he will begin flushing are those damn sucky cups!

Sidenote: While at the baby store, I was chatting to a very pregnant lady and found out she has a 10 month old little girl and is due next month. That is a very scary thing and should not be biologically allowed. <>

Updates: He is sitting by himself. He is still toothless. He is no longer sleeping through the night. I am here to tell you, just because your little precious starts sleeping through the night does not I repeat NOT mean they will continue to sleep through the night. Sorry to discourage, but the air was let out of my balloon rather quickly with this discovery and I do not want you to suffer the same fate. Enjoy the full nights of sleep, for they too shall end.

But I hope they come back. Soon.

It Pains Me to Say I was Wrong

I once commented that hell is a teething baby. No teething is not so bad as I can typically give him a shot of Tylenol and a frozen waffle and move on with my day.
Hell is a teething baby who also has a cold.
I know I know, if he gets sick now, it will help him be healthier when he is older. I have to say I'd rather have an older child with a cold than a baby. At least an older child can tell me to get them soda and hand them the remote and then I can go back to reading my facebook. Now when I try to do anything on the computer while holding P-money (new nickname from my friend Spencer), he puts his slimy sick baby hands all over the screen and keyboard. Yuck.

So yeh, the kid is sick. He is, as the pediatrician said, severely congested. We have the humidifier, the nose suction thing, Tylenol, a prescription and a couple bottles of wine. We will get through this!
We were at the doc's office for his 6 month check up, despite the fact that he is almost 7 months old, whatev. He was suppose to be getting the next round of vaccines, however the extreme congestion got in the way of the shots, but not the co-pay might I add. This means that he still needs the vaccines. Bottom line: In 2 weeks I will have paid $40, just in co-pays for this kid. There was also mention that if he is still more clogged up than the DC Metro system on inauguration day, then he will have to be introduced to a nebulizer (spelling?). BOO!

On the upside, the prescription makes him poop regularly! However, the poo situations are insane and so far I have been the only one on the receiving end. I'm changing Josh's name to Dodger.

Despite his faucet nose and mucus filled lungs I still took him to Cuddle Up and Read at the library yesterday morning. This is the reading group for babies that I mentioned earlier. I kind of feel like a bad mom for taking him out in the chilly weather, but there you have it. I can't sit in the house all day with him, bored.
He's on antibiotics, it's all good.
He wore a coat and hat.
Stop judging me.

At this reading circle there is a mom who I met at Safeway one day. A friend of mine of told me that if she had to go somewhere and did not know anyone she would take me with her because I will talk to anyone. I have also been told by another friend, after an awkward conversation with a stranger in a CVS, that not everyone wants to be my friend.
I find that hard to believe!

Anyway, I met this girl and her 1 year old son Nathan at Safeway in the baby aisle in the beginning of December. I talked her into joining this reading group at the library, but then I did not really talk to her through the holidays. Then bam, she's there! Yeh! See people do want to be my friend.
Now, last week we were told the RULES OF CUDDLE UP AND READ. Yes the very fact that there are rules for a reading circle involving children under the age of 2 made me a bit apprehensive. However, I stayed and ultimately am glad I did.
One of the rules states that basically if your kid if being annoying and loud, step out and get the situation under control. Another rule is no talking among mommies. Seriously, that is a rule. There are many others involving cell phones and being on time.

They are serious about these rules.

The group is lead by Barbara, whom I liked but am becoming slightly less fond of, and her side kick, Skippy. I do not know his name, I forget it, but Skippy is what I name a male if he is kind of schlumpy and bumbly and just there. Yesterday they had not even officially started yet, I know this because we had not sung the song that kicks off the whole thing. Therefore I thought it appropriate to say hello to my new friend and her son. So, I said hello, mentioned Parker had a cough and that I liked her son's hat.
BARbra then looked around the room, but was clearly speaking to us, and said, "OK, FOcus!" and did some motion in front of her face, similar to something a parent would do to a child to say, "I see what you are doing and I want you to knock it off!"

Well, Barbra I did not like your hat or your scarf both of which had your name largely embroidered on them. I assure you, name or no name, no one would steal your tacky winter wear. Maybe you should FOCUS on your fashion BARbra! Cut us mom's some slack. We are watching Sesame Street and listening to the same sing-song toys all day. Sometimes I need to use words with actual syllables and have the person I am communicating with respond accordingly and not by drooling on my sweater!