Not about Parker, but still entertaining

Ok, ok a little tidbit about the baby:
Although Parker is sitting pretty low and Josh has me on some form of bed-rest that still allows me to do the laundry, but forbids me to walk Abby to the mailbox, everything is moving right along nicely. We are getting a sonogram today to see exactly how low he is and what else, if anything, is going on in there.

The real reason I write today though is to let you all in on some other news, Josh got a new job! He is leaving Booz Allen for Wyle Laboratories. He applied for this job sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas last year. He has had a ridiculous amount of interviews and phone calls with this company. Some of the phone interviews bordered on them asking him his favorite color and what he preferred on his pizza. Basically we got the impression they were stringing him along, but Josh has a friend who works with the company already and he loved the job. It was through this guys encouragement only that Josh entertained these strange "Getting to know you" phone interviews.

Finally about a month ago, the friend called Josh and said, "I can't tell you why just yet, but you should get down on your knees and thank me." When Josh told me this, I asked him if there was more to their friendship that I should be aware of.

The company finally called Josh and asked him to come in so they could make an offer.
He went.
They offered.
He did a back flip in the office and kissed everyone in the room.
He accepted the position. It's more money, more responsibility and he has an overall good feeling about it, which makes me feel SO much better. He HATES his job at Booz. It's very corporate and in a typical day the phrases "proactive" "team-player" "go-getter" "think outside the box" and "grab the bull by the horns" are uttered every hour seemingly on the hour. Very Office Space, minus the TPS reports, although I am sure they have something equally as annoying.

Now, I have no idea what Booz Allen Hamilton is or what they do. I have about the same amount of knowledge when it comes to Wyle Laboratories.

I do know for sure though that Josh will really be getting a chance to use his mad skillz managing and directing some punk-asses through some government project.

I also know this new job is pretty much located a mile away from his current job. When he went into his boss's office at Booz the boss asked where Josh would be going. For reasons neither of us are aware of, nor do we expect to ever figure out, Josh blurted out, "Nik and I are moving to the Eastern Shore." (We are not. We talked about it, but we are not.)

So for the last week or so (and for the next week until he is officially out of there) they have been asking Josh various questions about his new life on the Eastern Shore. Rather than brushing the comments off or down playing the whole thing, Josh is answering the questions as if we are picking out buckets and shovels for our waterfront property. He is actually proud of how well he is answering them. He made up a story about how we are going rent out our house. When they ask what he will be doing for a job he replies, "I've got something lined up." They probably think he has lost his marbles or is going to be selling drugs to teenage vacationers this summer.

Ummm, also, remember when I said this new job is ONE MILE away from his old job?

He is probably going to run into some of these people at some point.

Then what?

I guess I should not be surprised. When Josh and I first got engaged he moved into the house I was already in. We has been together for about 3 years at that point and has know each other for about 6 or 7. Point being I thought I knew him pretty well. Well the first morning we were getting ready for work together, I walked into the kitchen and Josh was eating a banana that he wrapped in a paper towel. When I asked him what that was about he said, "I don't want my fingers to get all banana-y." I tried to explain to him that they come in their own natural wrappers that can prevent banana-y fingers. He said eating bananas out of the peel was awkward...some how not as awkward as eating one wrapped in a paper towel.

Given this prior knowledge, I should not have been surprised about the moving to the Eastern Shore response.

Get Low

Subtitle: Let the pampering begin!
I had a doctor's appointment yesterday.

When my OB's assistant asked if I had any questions or issues I wanted to discuss with the doctor, rather than smiling and politely saying, "Nope, all good." like I would typically do in a typical non-pregnancy visit so as not to waste my doctor's time, I told her about two issues I have been having. Since my doctor's appointments in the last few moths have really focused on the baby I feel they are not typical and therefore require honesty, no matter how awkward or gross I may feel verbalizing some of the things happening to me. (I use the term "me" loosely at this point. Don't misunderstand, I love being pregnant, but it's amazing how little control you have over yourself- bladder, emotions, hunger, fatigue, gas etc.- at this point.)

Anyway, back to the OB's office. Two distinct things have been happening. One is very common. I will briefly explain: Occasionally I get this pain where my leg meets my hip. This happens when I am standing or walking for too long. I have been in the middle of a walk with Abby and had to basically limp back to my car because it hurts so much. Let me tell you, a limping pregnancy lady with a panting dog gets a lot of sympathy looks, however no one has ever offered help...interesting. This is a normal pain and is caused by stretching ligaments and goes away after I sit down for a minute.

The other pain is something I have not had, nor have I missed, in the last few months. (Pregnancy = no period = h-e-a-v-e-n!)
I have been having these menstral-like cramps. There is no pattern to them and I can go days without having them, but then out of no where, I will have one or two in a day. As soon as I said this the OB assistant, she seemed to get kind of nervous and told me the doctor would need to check to make sure I was not going into early labor. (Before I continue, I'm not going into early labor.)
However, the doctor did say that Parker is sitting very low. She could feel his head...here is the gross, but amazing factor, I could feel her feeling his head...if that makes sense, I'm trying not to get too graphic here. She felt his little head with no trouble. She immediately said, "Ok so, no more working out. He is too low and you are 33 weeks. We need to get you to 35 safely. If/when you get to 36 weeks and if you went into labor we would not stop it at that point. It's too early right now." I want to make sure you did not miss a very important part of her statement. I am 33 weeks pregnant. If/when I make it to 35 weeks-which is 2 weeks away- and go into labor, they would not stop it. THEY. WOULD. NOT. STOP. IT. ---2 weeks...

Anyway, I'm suppose to sit still as much as possible.
Me.

Sit still.

For long periods of time.

Me.

Have you ever been to the beach with me? I'm good for about 30 minutes of sitting still and then it's all over.

I am allowed to walk my dog, but that is about it, physical activity speaking.
Poor Josh.
For many many reasons.

*Note: I am not dilated at all, Parker is just very close to the exit.

I have another appointment with her in 2 weeks and she will let me know if I can start working out again, or if I need to just maintain my Abby-walks only activity level or maybe even less. I am not on bed-rest (THANK GOD), but I am suppose to just take it easy.

I will keep you all posted. If I am put on bed rest, expect many blogs about random things and what ever Abby happens to be doing that day, which is typically sleeping, also, something I do not do well- sleep. Not necessarily because of the pregnancy, I am just not a sleeper, never have been. Josh is. Let's hope Parker has my good looks and brains and Josh's ability to fall asleep in minutes and stay that way until I deem him ready to wake up.

Abby, carseats, stretch marks and that ho Jamie Lynnn Spears

I have gotten into the habit of reading my previous posts before I write the new one. The last one I wrote always makes me tear up a bit when I read it. This is a new post, and likely not to cause any sort of water-works.

This past weekend was the baby shower for Parker. On the way there Josh had made the comment that this was my day. Interesting because never in a million years did I think of it as my day. That day was about Parker, as most days will be in the very near future...actually they have all centered around him since October 2007. Anyway, it was a great day and I really appreciate everything everyone did to be a part of it and all the awesome things Parker got.

We set up the Pack and Play in the living room and Abby, our dog (see photo below), is very sceptical of it. I would not say afraid, but she glares at it when she walks by. We also put all of Parker's things in what will be his room, which is current Abby's favorite room. She refuses to give up the room without a fight. She goes in there, sniffs around and perches herself on top of an old toy chest. Not the queen-size bed, but the toy chest. For those of you who have not had the distinct pleasure of meeting Ms. Abby, she is not at all territorial. I could very easily take a treat right out of her mouth and she would just go sit on the couch. The point being she would have no reaction. She is kind of handling this baby thing that same way. She is just confused about where all this stuff came from. She is super sweet though and at night when I am laying in bed she puts her paw on my stomach or curls up right against me. The only concern I have regarding Abby and Parker is that Josh and I called Abby our goat. She looks very goat-like to us. We are concerned that when it comes time for Parker to learn about animals he will struggle with the difference between an Abby-goat and an actual goat. Eh, it's all semantics anyway...

After we got everything into the house on Sunday, I realized some of the items were going to have to be dealt with right way and others could wait a bit longer. For some reason I deemed the car seat as something that needs to be dealt with right away, quickly and now.
We got it out of the box ok. Thankfully for Josh, and the neighborhood children, the seat was already assembled. Josh has a habit of cussing worse than me (!) when he is putting stuff together. Despite adverting this potential catastrophe, we still have not quite figured out the car seat.
I can say it is in my car.
However, I cannot guarantee that if Parker, or any baby, were in the seat that they would not be ejected out of the seat and through the back window, if I say, slammed on the brakes or am involved in some sort of fender bender, God forbid something more severe happen. It is not exactly secure at the moment. Apparently I have about 66-ish days to work this issue out...I have little confidence.

At night Parker likes to move around a lot. I can see my stomach move, but I cannot (thankfully) identify body parts. It looks kind of like what I would imagine it would look like to be inside a conga drum or something. Anyway, at night I usually sit on the couch with my shirt up over my belly...nothing X-rated people, only the belly is showing. I do this because it is just so cool seeing him be-bopping around in there. The other night I must have been wearing my shorts low too because Josh looks over in horror and said, "Oh my God are you ok? Did you cut yourself or something?!" No.
No dear.
I did not cut myself.
I...I have...stretchmarks.


Enough on that...

Jamie Lynn Spears is a ho. First the little witch gets pregnant right around the same time as me. In fact, I think we have very similar due dates.
She is having a boy too*, I'm not sure of the name she is planning on, but it's probably Parker or something close. *{correction: On Thursday night I read she is likely having a girl. Who cares, she is still a ho}
I read somewhere that she is not concerned about weight gain because she is young and knows she will bounce back. PUH-LEEZE. We have all seen what your gene pool does to a Spears post-pregnancy. Good luck sweetheart!
As if all that wasn't enough, this little Britney in training also had her baby shower this past weekend. Can I do ANYTHING without her copying me!? The article I read said "She open all of her gifts." Like this is a great feat of some sort. Like most of us non-Hollywood moms-to-be glare at these strangely wrapped boxes and marvel at how difficult it is going to be to get the actually object out of said box. Thank God JLS is here to guide us all.
I do have to say, I bet she did not have grown men chugging beer out of baby bottles for a lottery scratch-off. Game, set, match JLS. Game, set, match indeed!

Pictures, as pormised!

In the words of an old Whitney Houston song, "I get so emotional baby everytime I think of you..."

Yesterday Josh and I had to run some errands, which involved us going to the mall. I need a few more maternity t-shirts and Josh...you know I'm not sure what he needed, but I forced him to join me just the same.

In an effort to not relive the frustration that is buying maternity clothes with 2 months of pregnancy left, I will condense the event. Basically, the people who make maternity clothes should be shot. The manufacturers know you will be wearing these clothes for less than a year, and yet they cost as much, if not more, than "normal" clothes. The lady in the store even said something to effect of me needing to do this again whenever I have my next baby. LIKE HELL! I'm wearing these same clothes for every pregnancy and if we end up having three, I'm sure the clothes will still be very cute...cute meaning full of holes, but whatever. I have my maternity uniform and here is what is consists of: big-fat elastic waisted paints that I could probably pull up over my boobs, a maternity tank top and some sort of cardigan. Occasionally, since it has been warmer, I may mix things up with a dress, but basically the aforementioned ensemble is what I wear. Clearly, its timeless.

So much for condensing that part of the story...

Moving on.

When Josh and I go to the mall, I have to prep Josh about a week ahead of time and promise we can go out to lunch and we MUST go to the book store while we are at the mall. It's a Borders, if you are curious.

I found the books I was looking for and handed them to Josh, so I could go to the bathroom (see previous entries. I have visited more bathrooms in the State of Maryland in the last 7 months than I ever have ever in my life ever.)
Oh my way to the bathroom is where the emotion, again, came into play. I saw a pretty girl, about my age sitting in one of those over sized chairs that are always tucked away in a corner in those books stores.

She was holding a teeny tiny precious baby boy.

She was holding him so that he was facing her. He was wearing a little blue striped cardigan. They were quietly studying each other's faces. Just watching each other. Both totally unaware of what was going on around them. They were in this very cool, mom and new baby son vacuum of existence.

I have made an effort in my life to not be a jealous person. I genuinely try, and usually am, happy for people when good things happen to them. However, I was intensely jealous of this woman.

I interrupted their moment to ask how old he was. She said about 2 and a half weeks. She asked me how much longer I had and I told her 2 months. Her son's name is Finley, Fin for short. I told her I was having a boy and naming him Parker. This was a first baby for each of us. She told me it is really hard in the beginning, but the smile on her face overshadowed the words coming out of her mouth. I never asked her name, she didn't ask mine, but there was a
camaraderie between us I thought.

I was just struck by how these two people, the mom and Fin, were so enthralled with each other that the rest of the world not only went silent, but it's like there never was a world around them. I have a friend at work who just had a baby in February, another boy named Josh. She said that when he was born and she was sitting in the hospital bed holding him, just staring at him. Taking in every thing about him, she was unaware of her surroundings and the people witnessing the bonding session between her and Josh. She said she has seen pictures of that day and looking back, never realized how many people were actually in the room with her at that point. Have you seen the movie Waitress? I highly recommend it, Josh even liked it. At the end, Keri Russell's character has a baby girl. I know it's a movie, but the same thing happens to her. It seems like everything is really just starting for these women. Like that silence, the moment of studying this new person is really where it all begins.

I cannot wait to be sitting with Parker in the hospital after he comes, in a bookstore, at the park, reading to him and the world around us just...doesn't matter.

Tissue please...

2 Things

Thing #1
Last weekend Josh was touching up the paint in our house because we have an Open House this weekend. For those of you who are not aware, I found out I was pregnant about 2 weeks after our house went on the market.
This process has been "fun" to say the least.
Anyway, back to the story, Josh was painting and I have been warned that I am not to be around the paint in any way. Apparently just breathing in the faint fumes of drying paint will cause Parker to have a third eye or something.
So while, Josh painted, I cleaned the third floor, which is our entire bedroom and master bathroom.

Wait a minute, I'm allowed to breath in Pledge, but not paint?! ..oooOOook.

I was also organizing our closet a bit because I could never find my big, fat tent-like maternity clothes, which seemed to always get stuck behind something smaller and cuter in closet. Don't ask me how that happens...but I hate it.

Anyway, I did something that almost brought me to tears. Josh does not understand this...men! So I will share with you since most of you are either a) women and/or b) have been pregnant before and therefore will surely understand.

I had to pack away some of the wintry maternity clothes that I will not wear again until I am pregnant again. I LOVE...LOVE being pregnant. I am nearly the end of my pregnancy and I can still say I LOVE it. There is something spiritual and maternal and cycle of life about it.

I just hope the moths don't get to the clothes before baby #2 comes.

Thing #2
About 3 weeks ago, Josh hurt his hand in rugby practice. He went an entire week of driving a manual vehicle and typing at work (he is a writer/editor). Finally a week after the injury he decides to go to the emergency room.
After waiting 2 hours we saw a doctor. When Josh explained how long ago he actually hurt his hand and what he does for a living, both the doctor and I laughed out loud...LOL I believe it is.
In the end Josh had nothing more than a contusion...a fancy name for a bruise.

Flash to this past Tuesday, Josh calls me on his way home from rugby practice, just a mere week after the ER-bruised hand visit, and tells me he is on his way to the hospital. Apparently, Mr. Phillips broke his finger in a teammates shirt as said teammate was running past him. After another 2 hours in the ER he came home with a prescription for Vicodin/Hydrocodone and a splint on his left hand. My man broke his wedding ring finger! Nice work. Just when your wife is at/nearing her peak pregnancy fat-ness, he is wedding ring-less.

The next day he had to go to a finger doctor and got another Rx for Vicodin/Hydrocodone. Rite Aid refused to fill it. (He may have to get surgery too because apparently he torn the tendons in the finger too...great...more painkillers for Mr. Phillips.)

I fear that Josh is quickly developing a reputation in Calvert County as someone who has drug-seeking behavior. I fear what ramifications this will have come Parker's arrival.
Will Josh's name be red flagged in the hospital's system?
Will he be allowed in the labor/delivery room or will they suspect that he will take my drugs from me for his own enjoyment?
Will they send me home sans necessary painkillers, again for fear they will be aiding and abetting Mr. Phillips drug habit?

I need some ice cream....

True Confessions

Since this blog has the word confessions in the title, I suppose it is only appropriate that I make an actual, honest confession. This rocked my world about a week ago. I have had some time to come to grips with it and I think I am ready to share it with you lovely people. Don't worry, it's probably not going to be as scary to you as it (still) is to me.

Here goes...

I went to the OB last week. This was the first time I had gone in 5 weeks as she was on vacation somewhere, dodging my plethora of questions. She walks in the room and says, "NiKki! WHaT HAve YOU BeEN EaTINg!?!?!?"
I'm not sure why, but I immediately turned red, like I was guilty or something. Like I had just in her office, pre-weigh-in, ate an entire cherry pie that was meant for orphans or something.

I did manage to stamper out something sounding like a combination of huh? and what? and why?
It came out sound like, "Huwhawhy?"
Apparently I had gained 9, that's 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9...9! pounds in 5 weeks. I felt like I was on the biggest loser and I was the loser! I started going into this unrehearsed diatribe about how I work out 4 to 5 days a week, which is true and telling her how I have this rule- if I did not eat it before I was pregnant, I don't eat it now. This means no chocolate cake for dinner, no candy bars, I don't consume an entire bag of chips before doing previously mention workout. I honestly have been just as healthy as I was pre-pregnancy in the food department.

After I was practically in tears and out of breath from the (long winded) unplanned diatribe, she confirmed one of my greatest fears since I found out Josh was a whopping 10lbs 6oz. She told me Parker probably hit a growth spurt and he may very likely be on his way to 10 pounds.
Holy God!

I asked her if slim fast and maybe some crazy form of the Atkins diet would help. She called me silly and sent me on my way.

However, before she quietly ushered the crazy (fat) pregnant lady out of the office (read: me) she did give me a tracking chart. I have to track Parker's movements over the next few weeks. It's a normal thing, nothing is wrong (with the exception of me now weighing the same as a large tuna), she just wants to see what he is doing in there.
He has 10 hours to make 10 movements. The 10 movements typically only take him about 2-3 hours to complete. So now, I get to monitor every single movement.
I have never been more aware of the goings on in my mid-section as I have been for the past week. I hope I do not have to do this until the end.
He typically moves a bunch in the morning, slows down around late afternoon, and picks it up again in time for me to go to bed!

Good news: Last week I also had a dentist appointment (this was pre-OB appt). My dentist told me I have healthy gums. He said most pregnant women develop some issues with theirs, but mine are in tip-top shape. Great. What every woman longs for. Healthy...gums.

Anyway, we are moving right along with this baby thing and we get more and more excited as we blow through another trimester. Oh? Didn't you hear, I am in the third trimester!! Less than 3 months from my due date!

(Another true confession: It was 10 pounds, not 9. Sweet Jesus, bring on the mumu)

Corrections and Motherhood

Correction: I would like to start off by saying my mom told me I was actually 8lbs 3 oz when I was born. So how much does that bring down the average?! Is it possible for me to have a 7pounder?!..Didn't think so

On to other things...
Last night was a Thursday. Josh has gotten into this habit of taking off on Fridays, mostly so he can stay home at watch some of the March Madness tournament, but partly because the last two Fridays have been beautiful. Since I am trying to rack up some hours that will help during the maternity leave, I have been going to work on said Fridays.
Anyway, last night Josh informed me that when I went to bed he was going to walk to Neptune's for a few beers to watch the game. Netpune's is a little dive bar with food that will make you think you are at a fine dining restaurant. Interesting combination to say the least.
This bar is about a mile from our house and we frequently walk there in the summer, when it is nice out. Josh was choosing to walk last night because he wanted to drink a few beers and did not want to leave his car there. Responsible.
However, for some reason I freaked out. I told him he had to text message me when he left the house, again when he got there, again when the left the bar and again when he got home, as I would probably be sleeping. I was serious too. SERIOUS. That is 4...count them 4 text messages for a trip that would take Josh 1 mile from our house. This was actually the compromise I came up with after I begged him not to go, or at least not to walk there, because I just KNEW something bad would happen. (not to ruin the end, but nothing bad happened)

Now a little side story about our town. It is very Leave it to Beaver if the Beav were at the beach and most people are missing some teeth and cut-off jean shorts with either an ill-fitting tank top or no shirt at all are the outfits of choice, shoes always optional.
North Beach is charming in the same way an old lady who wears every piece of jewelry she owns all at one time to the grocery store. We try to dress ourselves up, but really we are just a big old happy mess. There is no real danger here unless you have a problem talking to locals about how before the Bay Bridge was built North Beach was what Ocean City is today.
What an accomplishment!

Anyway, Josh was making fun of me saying that pregnancy has made me an even bigger (if that is possible) worrywart. If he did in fact encounter "trouble" he likely could have pulled the- "Hey look over there!" while he runs/or slowly trots even, in the opposite direction- trick and safely gotten away.

My reaction concerns me because I want well-adjusted, socially acceptable, self reliant kids, but at what cost? Am I going to be one of those mom's who stalks her kids in her minivan? Am I not going to allow my kids to see PG movies until they are 16? 16?! That means they will be driving! I already have a rule in place that our kids are not allowed to talk on the phone when they are driving. Josh told me by then, cell phones will be obsolete and so will my rule. Darn those kids, always finding a loop hole.

Here's to hoping I am not a "Flowers in the Attic" style mom!