Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Anyone Got a 4 Leaf Clover?

My husband, Josh has the worst luck of any person I have ever met. (Aside from the lucky days when he met and married me of course, although I'm sure there are days where he would disagree...)

If you go out to eat with Josh you do not have to worry that your order may get messed up because it is almost a guarantee that Josh's will be.

We have been out to eat and the waiter took every one's order except Josh's and did not realize the over sight until we called him back over to the table. If someone comes around to fill up water glasses, they will consistently and inexplicably skip over Josh every time.

If there is fresh gum on the sidewalk, Josh will step in it.

If a bird is going to poop on someone it will be Josh. Although, I hear this is good luck, but I believe people just say that to make you feel like less of an ass since a bird just crapped on you.

Anyway, get the point? Josh just walks around with this unlucky cloud over his head.

On Friday, January 23 Josh got pulled over on his way home from work.

No, not speeding.

No, his lights weren't out.

The cop just happened to be behind Josh and just happened to run Josh's plates.

The red and blue lights start flashing- Josh pulls over, for seemingly no reason.

The cop comes up and tells Josh he is driving on a suspended license.

WhAt?! WHaT ArE YOu TalKIng AbOuT?

Apparently, a couple months ago Josh was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt. We sent in the $25 check and they never got it, so a court date was set. Some how the court date letter never got to our house. (SEE...terrible luck! I mean how many of those letters go out every day? And of course the one for Josh Phillips gets lost in the mail!) Since he did not know about the court date he did not go to court. Those of you who have been to traffic court (or any court I guess, I can only speak to traffic court) will know this means you have a Failure To Appear (FTA) strike against your licence. This, apparently, also means your licence is suspended.

That Monday, January 26 Josh went to the MVA and paid the fine and the suspension on his licence was lifted. He does have to go to court to clear everything up on that end or something. Really I'm not clear on the reasons why he has to go back to court and for the purpose of this blog, it really does not matter.

Tuesday, Janaury 27 was the night of Josh's accident mentioned in the previous post. So in the end it was good that he got pulled over on Friday because if he hadn't and totalled his car on a suspended licence, we probably would not have gotten anything from insurance.

Let me take a minute to remind you that Josh walked away virtually unharmed from the accident. Only his hand was bruised a bit, no blood and his glasses were even in tact post-impact. A few nights after the accident Josh was playing with Parker.

Again, before I go on, let me also fill you in on a nickname we have for Parker, it is "Stomper." He earned this nickname because when he is in his crib he likes to bring both legs up and slam, I mean SLAM them down on the mattress. He does this both when he is sleeping and when he is awake and ready to be picked up. He now even does this to the side of crib to turn on the music on his mobile. Thank God his crib is sturdy. He seems to like kicking. Great. I apologize in advance if my son gets all Jackie Chan on you or your kid if we ever meet up for a play date. I plan on enrolling him in karate in a couple years. The kid likes to kick, so I feel the need to try to teach him when this is appropriate.

Back to Josh and Parker playing- Josh leaned in for one of Parker's nose kisses little did Josh know the Stomper came to play. I'm not sure exactly how it went down, but Josh came downstairs holding Parker at arms length, saying, "He kicked my false tooth and I think he knocked it loose!"

Parker, of course, was giggling.

*Josh was not happy that I am putting this story in the blog and wants me to let the reading audience know that his fake tooth was the result of poor dentistry when he had his braces removed, not poor hygiene on his part. I would also like to point out that most everyone reading this had braces as a kid. how many of you lost a tooth while the braces were being removed? None? None of you? Why am I not surprised? See, terrible luck*

Flash forward to yesterday afternoon, Josh sneezed at work and the tooth officially fell out!

This afternoon Josh went to the dentist to have a tooth...um made?, but it will not be ready until Friday. And even then, it may not fit and may need to be sent back for adjustments! Eventually this will require a bridge too! Nice work Parker.

Josh has a professional job, with military officials. Employees with missing teeth do not exactly portray the desired image. So Josh has taken to super glueing his tooth in place as it is one of the front ones.

*Josh would also like me to tell you the conversation we had in the grocery store this afternoon, so you know the superglue was not his idea.*

Josh: I think I'm going to get PolyGrip for my tooth. Think that will work?

Nikki: Yeh, but I can't use PolyGrip for anything else. Get superglue, at least we can use that once you get your new tooth.

J: Can I put superglue in my mouth?!

N: Sure, why not. (When I am not sure of the outcome, this is pretty much my reply across the board. If you hear me say this, proceed at your own risk.)

We left the store with superglue.

Later that night Josh bought a 07 VW Jetta...

Who won?