When Josh and I were looking for houses, we found several affordable older houses in need of a little work. When we would see these houses we knew immediately these were not the houses for us. Josh is not a handy sort.
Nearly every one of our family photos hung in our house are hiding a 2 inch by 2 inch spot on the wall riddled with misplaced nail holes. Josh operates under the "measure once, reposition a nail 4 or 5 times" method.
A couple weeks ago the dual florescent light tubs in our walk-in closet burned out. If the lights were switched on and left alone, eventually they would buzz and flicker enough so you could see your clothes. It was like getting dressing on Space Mountain.
I had it Friday morning and put "replace closet lights" on the Saturday to do list. Josh successfully removed the burned bulb and we trundled our bundle to Wal-Mart.
We actually purchased the correct bulb. I was impressed already.
I had a good feeling about this project of changing a light bulb. We made a great team. Here we go.
As Josh gathered the step stool (or as we refer to it, the ladder) a screw driver (for the surrounding mental bracket) and the new bulbs, the kids and I watched in awe.
Josh entered the closet with the kids and I on standby in our room, just in case, because surely he can do this by himself.
Then a stream of cleverly camouflaged expletives flew out of the closet. There was a distinct sizzle noise, followed by a spark. Then an electrical burning smell wafted into the room.
I ushered the kids downstairs to let, "Daddy handle this by himself."
Once downstairs I heard a pop, another sizzle and a very high pitched yelp. Cautiously I yelled up to Josh, "You okay?" I was answered with a defeated moan.
He came downstairs and said it wasn't fixed. It wouldn't be fixed that night. And he was going to pick up Chinese take out for dinner.
Before I went to bed I checked on the light. The mental bracket was hanging from the ceiling, only one screw on the right side held in the entire mechanism in place. I told Josh it could not stay like that through the night. We rigged it so it was at least secure and went to bed.
The next day, with the switch off this time, we donned the kids headlamps- thanks Dad- and fixed the light to the best of our minimal ability. Josh completely fried the one side of the light so instead of a double florecent light, we now have a single, but it's plenty bright enough.
So the answer to the title is apparently; 2 Phillips' 2 headlamps and 2 days.
Later that afternoon we were all on the deck watching our neighbors build a zipline for his children in the woods behind our house. Josh said, "Would you let our kids go on a zipline I built?"