Thursday, August 4, 2011

Dingbat or Genius?

My kids are slow- nay they are indolent (sloth like, lackadaisical, and lazy even) eaters.  When I nursed a baby Parker it took him at least an hour to fill up and he DEMANDED to be fed every two and a half to three hours. Eventually leaving me feeling tethered and trapped.

Saying I tired of nursing quickly with him, is an understatement.  He solely consumed breast milk for 5 solid, glorious...weeks.  Then I introduced formula.  For the next 3 months he got a 50/50 split of formula bottles and either nursed or got pumped milk in a bottle.  Then it was all formula all the time.

Poor SBG was soley on breast milk only while we were in the hospital, a whoping 4 days.  The day we came home I gave her a formula bottle to see how she would process it. 


Once I was sure all was good, I gave her some formula bottles, some pumped milk bottles, and in a pinch, I nursed.  She is even lazier than Parker when it comes to nursing, which is contradictory because she loves to eat.

Here is why I hate nursing, aside from them taking forever:
1. I feel incredible guilt every time I nurse SBG in front of SBB.  Poor Pman has played alone a lot since SBG was born.  Have you ever tried doing a floor puzzle while nursing an infant? 

2. My boobs are uncomfortable and large.  Too large.

3. (I admit, this is an entirely silly and selfish reason) All my shirts are totally stretched out by the end of the day.

4. She drinks from a bottle MUCH more efficiently.

5. I'm a modest person and although I have a Hooter Hider, I hate nursing even in front of Josh and Parker, let alone in public.

Here is what I have done:

I give.  She got my milk for a solid month.  I have a TON of it saved in my freezer.

My milk is nearly dried up, so I gave my remaining breast pads to a friend who is inches away from giving birth to her second son.  I perhaps got rid of them a tad too quickly (and eagerly).

I had a slight leaking issue and was fresh out of nursing pads, so I pulled out the kitchen scissors and some maxi pads.

For some reason, I have quite a collection of maxi pads, despite the fact that I do not willingly use maxi pads reguarly.  (TMI?  I'll stop.)

A little snip here, a little snip there- BAM my maxi pads have become homemade nursing pads.

BONUS: They are super sticky and stay put better than any nursing pad I have ever used! 

As I went about my day, grocery shopping, picking Pman up from school and going back to the grocery store to get the milk I forgot, I can't help but think, "What if I got in an accident and go to the hospital and they have to cut off my clothes and they see maxi pads in my bra?" 

Will they say:

1. "Gee, this is one innovative lady!  We must save her at once, who knows what creative potential she holds!" 


2. "Just another local dingbat.  Should we check her blood alcohol levels, or just assume the obvious- she's totally wasted?"

*P.S.  To breastfeed or not is totally a personal choice.  No hate mail please.

Monday, August 1, 2011

It Takes a Strong Woman

Since the day I came home from the hospital, I have had someone around to help out with the kiddos- Josh, my mom, my dad and younger sister. 

Today is the first day I have them both on my own.  I was nervous about this day mostly because I did not want Parker to get too bored or spend his day watching cartoon after cartoon.  We can both take only so much Sprout.

SBG woke up earlier than normal, but thankfully went back to sleep.

SBB woke up later than normal.

My stress was already increasing. 

The kiddos were setting the stage to be off all day, eating at different times, sleeping at different times going into melt down mode at different times.  Things righted themselves, as they do and my worries were put to rest. 

I was even able to shower AND brush my teeth while SBB squeeze toothpaste all over the counter in my bathroom and SBG sat in her baby seat looking around the bathroom as if she trusted no one.

She has this face she makes- her eyebrows shoot up and her eyes dart around the room like she is plotting her escape because clearly the people around her are not fit to be in her presence.  Sorry chica, you are stuck with us.

Then I grabbed my coupons, a pacifier and put a little Kahlua in my insulated coffee mug and headed out the door. (I'm kidding about one of those.) 

My goal?

Grocery shop.  Alone.  With BOTH kiddos.  Did I mention we left the house about 30 minutes before SBG was due to eat again?  Not smart.

When it was all said and done we saved over $65 with my coupons. 

SBB managed to fall twice in the store.  He is fine and actually laughed both times, but the falls were total wipe outs landing him flat out on the ground.

He also had to use the potty twice while we were there.  The first time was shortly after we entered the store- no biggie.  The second time he announced he had to go, we were in the checkout line with every single item from our cart piled onto the belt.  The lady in front of us, of course, was having some kind of issue causing us to have to wait that much longer for a manger to conduct an override at cashier 5.

While we waited for the override Peyton screamed and Parker danced around singing the alphabet in an effort to distract himself. 

I was thisclose to just walking out the door, sans groceries and allowing Pman to do his thing in the parking lot.

After paying and making a mad dash to the bathroom, again, we finally got to the car.  SBB climbed in his seat and as I was prying SBG out of the Baby Bjorn, I realized she was minus a sock.

I give.

Feeling defeated, I heeved myself into the driver's seat and checked my phone.  I had a few missed texts.

Text #1: Oh look my friend had her baby.  This is her third baby and the pregnancy was trying, from the very beginning, to say the least.  She had been on hospital bed rest since 33 weeks and everyone was doing what they could to make sure the baby stayed put until 35 weeks- the safety zone.  The little baby had other plans and came about a week shy of the 35 week goal.

Text #2: (From her husband) The baby was sent to the NICU, which they expected if it came before 35 weeks.  It is sad, but they knew it was likely and his issues seems to be minor in a big picture kind of way. 

Text #3: My friend is in the ICU.  Without putting all her business on my blog, there was a lot of blood loss and other scary things.  She did get to see her baby though, which is a huge gift, given her situation.

Talk about perspective.  I glanced at my children in my rearview and my eyes filled with stinging tears.  Wow, I am lucky.

When we got home, I brought in the groceries and only put away the milk.  I let the rest of the food sit on the table.  I gave SBG a bottle, while SBB cuddled next to me on the couch and watched a little TV.  I did not worry about lunch or the groceries, instead I let myself be totally present in the moment with my kids.

Hang in there friend.  Your children are lucky to have you and this time next year you will all be that much stronger for having gotten through this together.