Friday, December 18, 2009

I Will NEVER Do That!

Being a parent has shown me a different side of my own childhood. Things I thought I would never do, say or think are now commonplace. This entry is a collection of just some of the things from my childhood, that I see creeping into my daily routine with Pfunk.

I distinctly remember my dad and younger sister taking part in something I could only describe at the time as vile when we would go on long-ish car trips. My dad would get a big red juicy apple and eat it in the car. He would also bite off big chunks and offer them to my sisters and me. I, of course, never...EVER took him up on his offerings. It was already in his mouth with his tooth funk* all over it. Ick. This really should come as no surprise to most of you. My sister Lynsey, the same one mentioned here, OF COURSE took him up on the offer and would even ask for another bite after she finished the one she had. I would be sitting next to her in the back seat, dry heaving because I was just so grossed out by their absurd behavior.

Just yesterday, I was eating an apple in the car. Pman can say, "apple?" (always with the question mark). Want to guess what I did? Bit off a huge chunk and without the slightest hesitation gave it to him.

My mom is a nurse and when we were growing up she worked a couple night shifts during the week- smart lady- there were 4 kids in our house! On these nights my dad was in charge of dinner. He only really ever made one dinner- over and over. Flank steak- burn it, baked potato (sometimes sweet potato) and broccoli. Once in a blue mood he would throw chicken into the mix.
About 10 minutes before dinner, the noises in our house consisted of the clanging of silverware as an 8 year old me and a 2 year old Lynsey tried to set the table. My brother taking on drink orders (usually milk).  If we were having chicken, my sister- Megan- was in charge of white verse dark meat distribution. I'm not sure if a typical 8 year old knows the difference between white and dark meat on a chicken. I did. White meant you would need a little something to dip it in.

I think the need to dip is an inherited gene. Also, since I consumed mass amounts of broccoli in my childhood I think I have a broccoli gene too and Pmonkey got it. That boy will choose broccoli over just about anything- except cake.  Now, if I can only get him to take my drink order...

When I was in college...and well anytime post-Pman, I would also judge the mommies in the grocery store with the screaming baby. (I regret that now.)  I believe I would even come home from the store and say the following words- out loud, "If I'm ever at the grocery store and my baby starts crying, I'm just going to leave. I don't even care if my cart is full." I also said something to the effect that I would not bring snacks to the grocery store because a kid should be able to make it through a shopping trip without a snack. Childhood obesity is a problem in the U.S. 'yall.  I also had strong feelings against opening food stuffs in the middle of the store- E Gad! Oh naive, childless, single Nikki.

Now, I gleefully open anything, right in the middle of the store, that will keep P's mouth occupied and generally not screaming. When the snacks do not work and the wailing starts up I say, "Let it out kiddo. I have had months of practice drowning out your drone, and I'm quite good at it." Sorry fellow shoppers, I need to buy this tot some nuggets and ketchup or there will be a mutiny at my house.

Finally, when I was a tot myself, I liked my ponytails to be high on my head and very tight. My dad used to accomplish this by having me flip my head upside down and would then twisted something resembling a hair tie around my hanging locks. I also liked my shoes to be tied very tight- in my adult years I'm aware of how odd this is and I do not blame my parents. While Parker does not wear ponytails at this juncture in life, he does where shoes. Recently, I bought him a pair of tennis shoes that tie. The other day I was helping him put his shoes on and as I was tying them Psizzle reached down to his foot made a hurty face, whined and wiggled his foot.

*It should be noted my dad does not have funky teeth. At that time in my life, I was just being...well, let's call it difficult.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Spider P

Parker was sick last week. Now, like good, dutiful parents, Josh and I are sick and Parker doesn't give a crap. When he was sick, I sat on the couch with him in my arms, neglecting the gym and watching copious amounts of Sprout. By the by, The Wiggles are just wrong- not in a Yo Gabba Gabba kind of way, more in a your hair is gray and you look like middle aged idiots sort of way.

P drank juice. I did not make dinner. He coughed. I worried. (He once had bronchitis and I kept putting off going to the doctor because I did not want be one of those mothers. Poor P!) His nose ran, I wiped- you know the drill. Below is a picture of a sick Pmonkey who was so NOT in the mood for a photo shoot.

Day Two: Why is it when kids are coughing up internal organs, they still feel the need to climb?  Why can't we eat chicken noodle soup and watch movies?  Incidentally, one of his favorite words is up.  While he was climbing the chair he was chanting, "UP UP UP UP UP"  It's not the least bit annoying...

Day Three: After successfully figuring out how to climb the chair without assistance, he has found a new favorite spot.  That spot is on top of the table.  I'm thinking he likes the vantage point this perch gives him.  Our house is sort of U shaped and from this table located in the corner, he can see all. Also, this is a good place to throw things at the dog- leverage.  Poor Abby.

Day Four: This is one of the Monster TV's Josh bought,  for the new house,on Black Friday.  Since it is roughly the length and width of our entire wall, we are not opening it until we move.  Psizzle sees, or saw rather, this as his newest climbing challenge.

Challenge: COMPLETE

I ask, have any of you ever been up for a climb when your sinus are full of snot?  I've been coughing like an old man for the last 72 hours, I think I need higher altitude.
This boy is cra-Z

Here is proof that he is feeling a-ok now. Although, he did shrink. This is actually a bowl of Trix cereal. Just kidding! With aid from the humidifier, a Vick's plug-in thing and some saline solution and nose suction thing, P is a-ok. Also, a good friend suggested that I rub baby vicks vapo rub on P's feet and then put his socks on. The idea is this would help with his cough. I'm not sure if this sped up his recovery, but it was funny just the same and P laugh every time I rubbed the goop on his feet. The giggle alone was worth it. I highly recommend this remedy.