He's not sick. I swear.
He's not.
No, that is not neon green snot running down my sons face. He ate a marker for lunch. (These statements are truer than I care to admit.)
Coughing? What coughing? I don't hear anything.
Oh ok, I admit he's teething. He just reacts badly to incoming of new teeth.
Moms do not want to admit their child is sick. Let me say that another way, Stay At Home Moms (SAHM) do not want to admit their child is sick. I suspect working mommies are ok with the sniffles and a cough because while it means a sick, cranky baby, it also means a day (or two) away from a cranky boss and annoying employees. I am a part time working mommy, but I have off right now and require human interaction for my (and Josh's) physical and mental well- being.
It's not that we view a sick child as a failure or feel like we are at fault for some reason. No, for a SAHM a sick kid means a day (or 5) away from cherished civilization and humanity. A sick kid is nothing like a sick adult. A sick adult (especially men) get whiny and complainy and sit around watching crappy movies while slurping chicken noodle soup out of a mug. The sick adult slips in and out of consciences all day due to heavy drug use- I mean sometimes, I'm surprised cold medicine is legal and pot is not.
Unless it is something severe, the sick baby or child wipes their snotty noses on their shirt sleeves and coughs in the general direction of anything all while going on with business as usual. The glaring difference being that a sick baby still wants to play, but it is frowned upon to bring a sick baby out to play. Catch 22? Tell me about it!
I do have to say I prefer to be a sick adult. The medicine is better and I feel Pmonkey does not have the proper amount of appreciation for being sick. I'm not feeling super great either and all I want to do is lay on the couch, breathe out of my mouth heavily in a non-sexy fashion while watching TV. All Parker wants to do is play cars and destroy everything.
The little guy had a sinus infection 12 days ago and went on that hot pink, bubble gum tasting medicine we were all on throughout our entire childhood. (This is a medicine I do not mind taste testing for him- every time he has to take it...every time.) He finished the medicine this weekend and started with the terrible runny nose and a wet, deep cough immediately.
I just want it documented that on Sunday I said to Josh, "OooO. It sounds like Pman still has something going on. I may take him to the doctor tomorrow."
It is $20 every time I take him to the doctor.
Josh replied, "Eh, I think he's fine."
So Monday, I called the doctor.
I was told (if I have an up coming play date with you, please stop, I repeat STOP, reading NOW!) he has bronchitis and it is likely contagious since he likely caught this from a virus. I suspect one, Milo as the infected body. Who is Milo you ask? He is the lovely child of a good friend. He is a few weeks younger than Psizzle and they are buddies. He gave Pmoney his first romantic kiss this past Saturday night. While Milo is not sick, he is the only person Pman french kissed this weekend.
Of course on the way home from the doctor I was invited to two play dates that afternoon, which I had to rsvp to in the negative. I'm not going to say that the thought to just go and not mention P's newest -itis didn't cross my mind.
Would anyone notice his old man hacking cough? I'm sure I could frequently wipe his nose without anyone noticing, right?
Possibly I could get away with this if I were going to a frat party or dog show or WalMart, but a room full of mommies? No go.
I also had to confess to two other mommies that Pman was ill and we were going to miss a Wednesday play date. My desperate cancellation email to them begged that we reschedule and offered promises of Starbucks.
The point is you can always tell who the desperate SAHMs are and when she has a sick child, but cannot stand to be inside one more second. She has a "secret" stash of wadded up partially used tissues in her pocket. She "just happens" to have a variety of medicines in the diaper bag, some for babies some for adults. She "never hears" any of the sneezing or coughing that seems to come from the general direction of her own child. She is also probably showing signs of being sick herself.
Don't judge her, she just needs to get out of the house for a bit.
Don't touch her (or her kid).
But most of all don't judge.
