Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Beef with Teeth

An Open Letter to Parker's Teeth (the exposed and non-exposed.):

You are driving me crazy. Do you know how utterly terrible it is to be ripped out of a, very rare, perfectly good sleep be a screeching, screaming 16 month old? Don't you try to blame tummy trouble, a stuffy nose, or nightmares, I can hear that Pman has his little fingers in his mouth in an attempt to self soothe- making you the only culprit.

Come through or don't, but stop making my life hell and my son's mouth sore. Or at the very least have some consideration and succumb to the pain dulling powers of legal infant drugs. I would even tolerate one, just one, cranky day at home for a full night of sleep. Please understand, I am just willing to trade one for one, you do not get to make him cranky multiple days in a row.

First you come way late, he nearly celebrated his first birthday toothless, although the process did seem to start in October when he was 3 MONTHS OLD. Then you take forrreeevvver to finish the job. I know I know, the later you come in, the healthier you are. I need you to know I think that is a load of crap. You teeth must have some sort of in with pediatricians across America and those that make generic infant tylenol. Do you get a nice fat kickback check every time one of us mommies buys yet another bottle of baby teething pain killer?

Orajel does not work on Psizzle, as you are well aware. However, because of the seemingly nightly intense pain you cause him, he now smiles, waves his arms and is generally excited by the sight of that eye dropper full of sticky sweet purple liquid. The mysterious tiny white powdery teething tablets, mentioned previously in my blog, get the same reaction. You, teeth, have made my son an addict.

I have looked on the eight of you who have had the guts to show yourselves, but I see no phone number for a complaint department. Please understand I still fully expect you to complete the job you have started. I expect you to be healthy despite P's inability to properly brush at the moment. Hopefully him sucking the toothpaste off the brush is enough for now. You know I have tried to do my part and encourage the actual brushing motion, but he has other ideas.  However, he does seem to enjoy gnawing on the bristles of my own toothbrush, which I find totally gross, but he does a lot of things I find totally gross and therefore will not take up any of your more time.

Let's call a truce and just get P through this and allow me as much nightly sleep time as possible.

Thank you,

(A very sleeping) Nikki

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Elimination Communication

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you Pman!

On Halloween our neighbors, and Josh, all sit outside and hand out candy to the kiddies, and not so kiddies. Josh hands out the candy because he says he loves it, but secretly I think he likes having the power to deny candy to uncostumed teenagers. Either way, while he is out there he chats and trades candy with the neighbors.

On Sunday we were hanging around the house watching football when Josh asks me when we will potty train Pman- no pun intended. I said that I was thinking we would get a potty for him when we move (in about 3 months!!!!) and really start working on it this summer when he turns two. Josh said, "TWO!!!? This SuMmER?"

I had no idea Josh felt so strongly about potty training.

Apparently he was talking to one of our neighbors who has an 11-month old daughter. The neighbor said her daughter tinkles in the potty and they are working on poo-pooing. He immediately, in a very unJosh-like way, went into panic mode at the fact that our little P was nowhere close to potty training outside of playing with toilet paper.

Josh wanted to get the training started and now.

I explained we were on track and she was a bit early and I've heard girls are a bit easier in the potty training department.

About an hour later we were trying to remember if Psizzle had a BM at any point in the day. (See you non/ not yet parents, these are the fun conversations you are missing out on...) Just as we decided, no he had not, P comes running on from the kitchen, looks me dead in the eye, grunts, turns red-faced and then laughs.

He looked right at me as he poo'ed! Such a boy!  He then went over to Josh and handed him a book, like Pman needed a little something to read as he finished up.- just. ew.

This reminds me of something I read about Blossom- you know Mikelaiaianmam Baliakananabsn. She is now an eco-friendly, tree hugging, compost heap having mommy of two boys. The article I read was about something she called Elimination Communication. It seems this is a form of potty training whereupon the child does not wear any diapers- at all- even infants- NO diapers ever. Instead, the mom and child create a sort of communication pattern awareness, so the mom can "tell" when junior needs to use the facilities. She said they use diapers, cloth, when they are in public, but at home it's free-balling style all day. I thought this was sheer madness and you would have to be smoking a lot of the good stuff to be able to deal with that much human bodily fluid...and other stuff...being all around your house as you learn to communicate with your infant about their pee schedule.

Then P proved me wrong with his previously mentioned antics- although, thankfully, he was wearing a diaper, not cloth.

I'm still putting potty training on hold for now, but I am trying to pick up on his potty cues. The poo thing, I got. How do you tell is a 16 month old needs to or is peeing?