Wednesday, September 9, 2009

It's a Sign

Try saying the word spoon slowly about 50 times in a row. Eventually, you will not even know what you are saying or what a ssspppppooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnn is.

Do this with virtually any word- cccchhhheeeeeeeesssssee, wwwaaaaaffffffllllllllle, mamamamamamamamaand- you will have the same outcome. This is what it is like trying to teach your nearly 15 month old son to speak.

We tried doing the sign language thing. I actually used to take sign language classes and worked with some deaf children while I was in high school. I even applied and enrolled to a college (Bloomsburg University in PA) that had a great sign language program. I really wanted to be a speech therapist or work with deaf children in some way. In the end I freaked out and felt like I was pigeon holing my 17 year old self. I dropped out before I even started and went to community college for a year. All of this leads to prove that I am open to sign language. I am just too lazy, I guess.

I tried teaching him the sign for more, but that is very similar to clapping. We were going to story time at the library where clapping is a prime activity among the birth to 2 year old age group. I feel like he will clap more frequently throughout his life, than he will need to sign the word more. I gave up the signing and encouraged the clapping.

The sign for please looks sort of like patting your chest. Parker's looks like he is waving. Eh, close enough.

To tell someone you would like milk you make a loose fist and move it in a slight, but quick squeezing motion. Parker makes a (very) loose fist and kind of flicks his middle finger against his thumb. Whatever, I know what he means.

The signs for thank you and eating look similar. To sign thank you a person moves their hand from their mouth outward. To sign eat you kind of make a bird beak looking shape with your hand and move it toward your mouth. Either way, Pmonkey just puts his hand in the general area of his mouth. Good enough...

He does the sign for done pretty well. I think this is mainly because he enjoys sweeping all of the unwanted food onto the floor, which is similar to the motion for done. Good work son!

God help him if he ever encounters an actual deaf person. They will likely think he is challenged mentally. The good news is when the deaf person if calling Parker dumb, my son will likely think he is being offered a cookie or something.

Along with his make shift sign language he is starting to say a few words. He will tell you that a duck quacks- actually he will tell you everything quacks. He will say, "woof woof" if you ask what a doggie says. He was able to tell you cows moo, but apparently cows are retracting that statement because now they quack, according to Parker. Why do they regress like that? One week Parker will be all sign language and animal noises. The next week, when I try to show (off) to other parents, it's crickets from Psizzle. Cat got your tongue?

No, cat's don't quack either!

Another development I have noticed is ever since he started eating solid food, he is the BIGGEST mooch! I cannot eat anything without this kid getting his grubby face and baby hands all over it. Even if I give him a bite of what I am eating and he does not like it, he is still all grabby about it.

Every morning I sit him on the counter while I get my coffee and his milk ready. Usually he plays with a plastic spoon and a paper cup in a drum-like fashion. The other day he reached into the fruit bowl and took little mouse bites out of one of the apples. Think he liked the skin? That a big fat NO. Want to guess what he did with the bits of partially chewed apple skin? He left those slobbery little bits all over the counter. Want to guess how hard it is to pick up tiny bits of slobbery apple skin?'s not easy

He will eat noodles now- which is a new development. I mean really, what kid does not like noodles? Up until about a week ago, the answer to that question was Pman.

I have heard my own mom and many others say something to the effect of them not being restaurants and therefore the family is to eat what they have prepared or go to bed hungry without dessert. That is all well and good, but what do you do for a sometimes picky (nearly) 15 month old? I swear I make him 2 or 3 things for breakfast every morning and he will eat about 2 tablespoons worth of food. Occasionally I give him Instant Breakfast before he goes to bed if he does not eat a lot during the day, but I'm not a restaurant and he will (eventually) have to eat what I make whether he likes it or not or go to bed hungry without dessert!

That may seem like a good ending to this entry, but I have a short Josh story, which are always good!
Last night I went to dinner with a friend, so Josh was on his own for the night. Earlier that day I went to Walmart and bought packages of Ramen noodles for 16 cents each (!!!). I called on my way home and Josh said he just got back from the gym and was making dinner. When I came home, I saw what Josh had fixed. In one bowl I saw that he had prepared veggie soup for himself. IN ANOTHER BOWL I saw Ramen noodle. Just to be clear, Josh simultaneously ate two bowls of soup for dinner. There are so many things wrong with this, I can't even begin to explain. I hope I do not work nights when our kids are older and if I do, I will be sure to put a casserole in the freezer or something. I mean TWO bowls of soup? AT THE SAME TIME!?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Once Upon A Time

Confession: Josh and I met through the computer 12 years ago. Some of you may think we met either in college or through a mutual friend. You probably think this because one or both of us told you those lies. We are embarrassed that we met online.

I know, I know- a lot of couples meet online nowadays, but when Josh and I met we were 17 and 19 and no one was meeting ANYONE face to face that they originally met via computer. Also? neither of us had any sort of online dating account, I'm not even sure they existed, and we cannot really remember exactly how it is we met.

Any way you slice it we have been in each others lives for 12 years and today is the 3rd anniversary of the day we got married. We started out as computer buddies, moved onto phone friends then long distance daters. We broke up shortly after. Then both ended up at Salisbury University and even had the same major. Although we never had any classes together, our paths did cross occasionally and at one point I said to a couple different friends, "I wish Josh Phillips would stop calling me."

Side note: Both of the people I said this to were eventually in our wedding!

I was once at a party...rather one of the parties I went to during my tenure at SU, I met one of Josh's ex-girlfriends. I did not know who she was prior to the conversation, but after a slurry exchange of "I knowsssssommmme rugbyyyy playeRs too! Who doyouknow?" We realized we both knew Josh. When the X asked my name and I told her, "Nikki." Her face got all scrunchy and I could tell , right at that moment, we were not going to be friends. She stared at me for a beat and said, "Oh. You're THE Nikki."

I was right. The X and I never spoke again. However, there were several times when we were both the only ones in the gym. The 10'x10' gym by the pool, of the appartment complex, WHERE WE BOTH LIVED! Awkward... It does get better though, the X and I also both dated a guy named Andy, whom I fairly sure she eventaully married. God does she want to BE me or what?

Later when I asked Josh what THE Nikki meant, he told me the X was jealous of me because he talked about me a lot- good move Josh. He also told me he did that because I was his Pipe Dream. (So sweet, right?!)

He graduated a year before me, so when I graduated I called him and basically said, "Now what?"

The answer to that question was apparently- date Josh Phillips.

Flash to 4 years ago- I was living in the house that we currently occupy with Pman and Abby Goat. However, I was living here with a roommate because I did not want to live with Josh until we were engaged. When my roomie told me she was moving out to live with her fiance, I called Josh and said, "Should I find a new roommate, or will you be moving in some time soon? [Code for: when are you going to pop the question buster!]" I told him I could afford to live in the house by myself for 3 months, then something would have to give.

Sometime in the middle of September (about 2 months after my roomie moved) Josh and I were painting the room that would eventually be ours. It was a beautiful Sunday and Josh kept whining about not wanting to paint. He eventually talked me into taking a break and having a beer on the deck. He was wearing some gross gauzy shirt and a John Deere- mesh back hat. I was wearing old jeans, blue Crocs and had sage colored paint everywhere from my hair to my face to under my nails (and somehow, on the bottom of my flip flops).

Josh got down on one knee, said some very sweet things and showed me a ruby ring. I replied by telling him to "SHUT UP!" and asking, "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING??!!" Somewhere in there I said yes and killed my Miller Lite so fast I truly do not even remember drinking it.

About a year later on that same deck, Josh met Nair for the first time. He has a hairy chest and apparently does not like it, so he decided he wanted to remove the hair via Nair before our honeymoon. It was not pretty but it was hilarious. First of all he rubbed it in, even though on the bottle it clearly states in big letters, DO NOT RUB IN. The bottle also suggests finding a hidden spot to administer a test patch. Josh picked several test patch areas. Once the hair was removed, these patches made a nice crooked smiley face pattern on his entire torso. Yes. That is better than a hairy chest. Good work, Phillips.

Since our relationship began online, we felt somewhat comfortable planning portions of our wedding that way too. For example, we had awesome wedding invitations, but the RSVP's were to be send to an email address I created. We also picked our reverend through the Internet. Again, I'm not sure how exactly I found him and I am not exactly sure why we stuck with him. We attended this group pre-wedding marriage counseling thing that was led by Rev. Tousey- we eventually just called him The Tous [The Toss]. It was at these sessions where we discovered The Tous was a recovering alcoholic and DIVORCED! Nothing against divorced people, but maybe they should not lead pre-marriage counseling sessions! The Tous missed our wedding rehearsal and was late to the ceremony. He was not invited to the reception- we were serving alcohol. That is all I needed at the reception, a drunk reverend running around telling people how much he thinks marriage sucks.

Truth be told, I love being married. Sure, I'll never have that rush you get when you first kiss someone good night at the end of a great date. I won't have to worry if he will call the next day or concern myself about making a good impression on his friends. I eagerly traded all that in for security, happiness and stability. New adventures in my life will not be met alone, I will have Josh with me. Although I usually guide the way, (mostly because I can be a bit controlly and Josh let's me) I could not do that unless I had him- not someone like him, but Josh specifically- behind me.

Also: Welcome to my newest followers! Thank you and may you have a splendid day!