Friday, October 1, 2010

This is Why...

I think that as a family we have weak bed making skills.

I HATE making the bed. 
  • Fitted sheets fill me with rage. 
  • Uneven quilt lines make me itchy.
  • Mismatched pillowcases send me reeling with frustration. 
It is because of these reasons that bed making is no easy task for me.  Josh is not good at it because everything I just  mentioned, the things that make the very skin on my arms melt off, is exactly what J does when he makes the bed.

The above picture is what happened when P tried to "help" me make the bed.  This is actually a mattress on the floor in the front room of our house- no one really or regularly uses the mattress or room.  It's just an extra mattress. 

If you get drunk at our house and cannot drive home, you will sleep on this mattress.

I was hoping my children would have better bed making skills than J and a deeper passion (or were at least less neurotic) about bed making than me.

So far that is not the case.  I have high hopes baby #2 will be a bed making fiend.

Sunday, September 26, 2010


If you ask Pfunk what Santa is bringing him for Christmas, my little chumbawamba will tell you, in a very direct and distinct voice, "Big.  Bed."

I'm not totally sure if he gets that big bed = no crib, but meh. He'll figure that out soon enough.  We've been reading books about saying bye bye to the crib and how big boys sleep in big beds.  I honestly think he is more or less on board with this plan. On Christmas Eve he will be two and a half- perfect BB time in our minds.

My parents live near a state that does not have sales tax, so this weekend we packed up the family truckster and headed to Grammy and Pop Pop's house.  On Saturday J and I left Pman with the G'rents and went bed shopping. 

I HATE furniture shopping.  Everything I like is too expensive and everything we can afford is...o...k...but I fear for the shelf life and durability of "affordable" furniture.

We visited 4 stores and (I) likely pissed off several furniture store employees- No I don't want your help, No, I don't care about your sales if I don't like what I see then financing really does not matter.  We finally found a bed we liked:
The one we got is similar to this.  However, our does not have a roll away bed that could also serve as a hotel in some Asian cultures.  P's will have 4 drawers in lieu of another mattress. Sleep over schmeep overs- bring a freaking sleeping bag- that's what we did.

All of this leads up to the real reason for this post. 

On the way home from the rando furniture store, that incidentally was in the middle of no where and had a huge fake cow on the roof, we stopped to get a bottle of wine- tax free!  We picked a generic "Beer Wine and Spirit" store in a strip mall.  Granted, it was a newer strip mall- maybe 3 years old.

We saw a line of people- men, women, black and white- standing outside. There were several police cars lined up in the parking spots immediately in front of the liquor store. 

As we walked in we saw two large muscle men holding metal detecting wands and wearing black hats that read, "GUARD" in bold white lettering.

They were wanding (is that a verb) everyone as they walked in. 
No explanation. 
No eye contact. 
Just these huge men, unsuspecting liquor store patrons and metal detecting wands.

An elder couple looked horrified as they shuffled in and were wanded.  The woman clutched her seashell purse to her chest while the man reached toward his back pocket for his used handkerchief to wipe the shock of drool off his chin.

Another man walked up with a 3 year old boy and was told his son could not come in to the store.

Inside the store there was a camera with 4 large white swirly bulbs aimed toward a Hennessey backdrop.  A woman was all set up with a Hennessey bottle and several tiny shot glasses- for a tasting(?)

It was all very eerie and mysterious. we were leaving the store we heard two people in line talking.  Ludacris (see photo below) was making an appearance at the liquor store.

In a strip mall.

Located more or less in a field.

Oh Luda

I know what you are thinking.  The answer is no.  We did not hang out at a liquor store in a strip mall at 2 in the afternoon on a Saturday to meet Luda. 

I hope I can pick up the pieces and move on with my life.