Friday, November 21, 2008

And Her Baby Wasn't Even Real

Confession: I have had this intense unexplainable fear of dropping Parker since the day I brought him home. I used to be afraid of holding him on the deck for fear he would violently wiggle out of my arms and fall into the neighbors backyard where upon their dog would snarl and bark loudly at Parker who lay helplessly in the dirt.

It's an intense fear.

My mom laughs at me, but I really thought/still think dropping him was/is inevitable.

My fears were confirmed when I was watching Friends one evening, as I do, and Rachel voiced a similar fear about her fake daughter Emma.

Also, can we talk about Emma for a minute? I mean what is the point of putting Rachel and Ross in this un-wed parent situation if the baby is barely and I mean barely part of the show. Putting a pink shiny E on a door in Joey's apartment does not mean you have a baby! No wonder us new mom's are thrown for such a loop and overwhelmed when the baby comes! Friends set us up for failure.

Anyway, on this one episode Rachel was still living with Ross and Emma had just been born. R&R some how were both out of the apartment and Emma was locked in the apartment by herself. She was a newbie and apparently sleeping in a bassinet.
Rachel started freaking out about Emma being in the apartment alone and said, "We have to get in there! What if she falls and hits her head?!"
To which Ross replied, "Can't hold her own head up, but yeah she is going to throw herself out of the bassinet."
(Or something like that)

I feel ya Rach. Who knows what those crazy babies can do!?

All this is leading up to another confession: I fell down the stairs with Parker the other day.

We are both fine and as most things in my life, I am probably making this more dramatic than necessary.
Here's how it went down:
Pman was taking a nap and I was eating lunch before it was time for us to leave so I could go to work and he could go to the sitter's house. When I wake him up from a nap I usually change his diaper then carry him downstairs while singing some song about what we are going to go do- have a bottle, go to Aunt Brenda's house, call daddy, take Abby out etc. These songs are nonsense and entertaining for us both. As I came to (and evidently missed) the last three steps we both went tumbling down and landed on that last step that is also a platform of sorts. You know? Anyway, some how I managed to hold him tight the whole time sacrificing both of my own knees and my left shin in the process. The noise we made was so bumpy and loud that even Abby came off her perch on our bed to check it out. Aside from my knees everyone is ok.

I do have to say a) It's amazing that the natural instinct to brace my fall with my hands did not even kick in (I am actually thankful for that) and b) My fear of actually dropping Parker has only intensified. Therfore we will both be wrapped in bubblewrap hence forth!

In other news, I have found these new teething tablets, well new to me anyway. They come in this little plastic tube and look like the dehydrated marshmallows that come with Swiss Miss hot chocolate. You put these meltable tablets under the baby's tongue and hope for the best. Both praying they work and that the baby does not choke on them.
So I opened the tube, took a few myself (felt NOTHING) and decided to give them a shot with the monkey man. While having a firm grip on the phone and after practicing dialing 911 with my thumb a few times, I put two of these marshmellow-y things under his tongue.
I'm not sure if they stopped the crying because he was distracted and thinking, "What the hell is this lady giving me now?" or if he stopped crying because they worked. Either way stopping the crying is the desired result and therefore, Thank You Sweet Jesus for inventing these things!

*TEASER*
Parker will be eating baby rice cereal for the first time on Thanksgiving day. Stay tuned for a photo journal of some sort!

Happy Thanksgiving!

1 comment:

Nancy Campbell said...

I have the same fear with steps, too---probably because Owen took a header in utero down the steps. I was 8 months prego. No harm done, just lasting paranoia.