Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Jon Minus Kate and Her 8

When the show Jon and Kate Plus 8 first began, I really liked it. I, like most of America, was fascinated by how one young couple would handle 8 small children. The only TLC show that amazes, or is it stuns? or is it frightens? me more is anything related to the Duggers.

I liked Kate's seemingly positive outlook on life and respected that she ran a tight ship because it was necessary. She had a cute haircut and wore normal "mommy" clothes. You mom's know what I mean. Something happens after you give birth, you just look like a mom. Even if your haircut is exactly the same as it was pre-baby, suddenly you have a mom-cut, crushed cheerios in your pockets and another persons mucus on your shoulder. It just is.

I thought Jon was a devoted, doting father who just wanted to make his wife happy.

The kids, while I still cannot name them all, were obnoxious, but cute and therefore endearing.

After Parker was born I stopped watching. I never was a -can't miss an episode- type of fan, but if the show was on and I had some time, I would watch. However, after Pman came, I found myself resenting Kate. Here she was with 8 small children, 6 of them babies, and she seemed to do it with such ease and in a fair sized house. She was always cooking dinner and doing laundry and organizing events and activities for her family. When Pmoney came home, I didn't cook for about a month. I just felt like-How can I cook? Parker is so small?- irrational, but I was very nervous and unsure about how to balance things. I didn't do the laundry for nearly a month either and poor Josh...well let's just say he had to get creative with his boxers. Finally my mom came and did our laundry and made some food and eventually, I got comfortable doing my normal routine.
Forget about planning activities. At first, I was so scared that I would be somewhere and Pfunk would have a major meltdown. I did not want people to think my baby was a brat, nor did I want those negative glares, that I realize now only come from the child-hating, heartless people of the world.

Anyway, I guess I was jealous of Kate. She made it look so easy and she had 8 kids. Why couldn't I pull it together with my one? Eventually, I got over it and realized Kate had a TON of help and was getting paid a TON of money.

When I welcomed the Gosselin's back into my home, I remember watching the last episode of a season. Jon and Kate were sitting in their standard over sized chair thing. Kate was talking, Jon was staring straight ahead as if he was tranquilized (looking back, he probably was). Someone off camera asked if they were up for another season. They answered at the same time. Jon said, "It's something we'll have to talk about." Kate said something to the effect of, "Bring it on!" Then they looked at each other and Jon mumbled something- fade to black.

Monday night, I told Josh I had to watch this special on J&K. Josh, who usually would read his World or Warcraft- How To book or a Batman graphic novel, watched with me. Every minute. He has voiced his dislike for Kate before. Typical stuff, she is whining, bossy and well down right bitchy. I can't really argue. We have all seen her flip out over pumpkins, pine cones, coupons, markers, icing etc. But who among us has not flipped out over something silly. What we rarely, if ever, saw was an apology from Kate.

Despite all this Josh watched with me and I must say there were times, that I really felt sorry for both of them. But of course, I feel terrible for their children. I really feel like if I were in their shoes, I would have stopped the show a while ago. Maybe after a season or two, so my kids weren't a side show or aware of paparazzi at age 5.

All seriousness aside, a few things must be addressed-
Dear Kate
What the hell is up with your hair? I was watching Chelsea Lately on E! the other night when I was up worrying about something. Loni Love was one of the guests. She is a very funny, larger, black woman. I think she put it best when she said, "Kate has a black girls' haircut." I mean what is that panel of hair over the left half of your face? Either go short or go long, but this reverse mullet is a no-go, big time. I admit the highlights on the hair panel look nice and expensive. However, you may want to ask your colorist to make sure she gets the back next time. The back of your head, with it's short spiky pieces, looks a bit like a blackbottom cupcake. While those are yummy treats, I would not recommend using them as inspiration for a hair color. Take some of your money and get a better haircut or some extensions.

Also, trying to seem carefree and happy by sparying silly string at the camera did not fool anyone. You seemed like a nervous girl the whole episode. It is ok to hurt. It almost seemed like at times you were not aware that anything was wrong. You looked like you were trying too hard, not with the party, just in general. If you are putting on an act, that is not reality TV. You made it very clear that you are doing everything you do for your kids. Maybe it's time to stop all of this limelight living for your kids.

Dear Jon
Who do you think you are fooling when you said you did not cheat on Kate? We all know you did and frankly we don't blame you. Kate is a bit of a witch, we have all seen it. Perhaps instead of cheating on her, you could have gone to counseling or possibly grown a backbone and thrown a little bit of her crap back at her. I've heard you referred to as; Dead Eyes, Kate's Dummy, Lifeless Blob, Wimp and Broken. Speak up man, tell Kate to shut her pie hole every now and then. Also, your hair plugs look nice, but not that nice, stop gelling them. It only highlights the fact that they are plugs.
The best part of the show was when your daughter, Sally? Johanna? Jessica? Yo Gabba Gabba? whatever her name is, came up to you after the party and you asked her who she invited. She told you she invited a little boy. You two had a small conversation about hugging and kissing. Then as she was walking away she said, "Don't go away any more Daddy." You replied that you had to work sometimes, but later mentioned you quit two years ago. Sad. The moment started sweetly and ended so sadly.

Dear anyone who may or may not have cheated with Jon
He has EIGHT kids. I don't care if you are a teacher. He has E-I-G-H-T young children. Not to mention a wife he has been with for quite some time. Back off.

In conclusion, I think the thing I took away from this episode was marriage is always work. You never hit a "safe zone". Even if you make it to 5 years, 10 years, 20 years and beyond, marriage is work. Even if your kids finish elementary school, graduate Valedictorian from high school and finish top of their class at an Ivy League college, your marriage is still work. I feel sad for Jon and Kate and their kids and I hope they work it out and stop the show. I feel sad for all families struggling with these issues and do not have the cushion of a successful TV show to break their fall.


Nancy Campbell said...

I finished that show and kept telling Paul that I loved him. You can't take marriage for granted.

The episode was so sad, especially the conversation you described with Jon and his daughter.

I'm not watching anymore, because I felt like I was seeing something that was no longer my business.

The E's said...

I did get a chance to see the last 20 minutes of that episode. I agree w/ Nancy, there was a sense that the show should go into re-runs now and let the family heal. It's no longer our business. And if they keep saying it's all about the kids, then get the cameras out.