Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I Have 4 Followers! My Cult is Growing!!

Shout out to Tina, my newest follower! Psizzle sez "Thanks dawg!"

This past Monday, I went to my cousin, Emily's, wedding. Yes, I said Monday.

Her family is very religious. I feel like everyone has a family in their extended family who is dubbed "the religious ones". However, on my mom's side of the family, everyone goes to church regularly and is actively involved in that community, except us. Does that make us the "damned ones"? No, really does it?

Emily got married in a High Mass ceremony- in Latin- on June 15. The ceremony was nice, what I could understand of it. I was in chorus for quite some time and we did sing a lot of songs in Latin, but I was pretty much singing phonetically. I had, well have, no idea what I was actually saying. Despite the lost in translation feeling, the ceremony had a traditional- "back to the roots" feel to it. And from what I know about Emily, the ceremony was very her.

Emily and her bridesmaids looked beautiful. I did find out something interesting about the bridesmaid's dresses though. It seems the church has very strict rules about the dress code. For example, as someone attending the wedding, I was not allowed to wear anything that was too low cut or that showed my shoulders- basically the opposite of what you would wear to a NKOTB concert. After the wedding I spoke to one of the bridesmaids, who was the sister of the bride and found out that her own dress was too low cut by the church standard. So my resourceful cousin, Alison, had a shoulder pad sewn into the cleavage area giving the optical illusion that she had a tank top on under her dress.

The ladies also all wore veils, that have a proper name, but I'm not sure what it is. The goal was that all the ladies needed to have their heads covered.

They must have thought I was ho-ing it up a bit. My dress was not low cut, nor were my shoulders showing, by my knees were and I did not have a veil on my head. I was feeling pretty self conscience until Thong Girl walked in. This girl was wearing a very pretty (short, shoulder-bearing) beige gauzy dress with no slip and a black thong. She came in late and sat in the back, which is why I'm guessing she was able to stay- virtually unnoticed.

However, my brother and uncle could not stop staring. Hell, I couldn't stop staring!

Anyway, this was Pfunk's first time spending the night in a place that was not home and not Grammy and Pop's house. Josh did not come because he had a work thing, so it was just Pmoney, me and my parents barrelling down the highway toward Front Royal, Va. Pman and I slept in the same room and against everything I do at home, we slept in the same bed. He possibly got stung or bit by something called Boring Bee and ate more grilled cheese and cake than any -nearly one year old- should. I tried to squeeze in some applesauce and pieces of banana here and there, but in the end gave up and he ended up eating 2 cupcakes with cream cheese icing. TWO! He also stubbed his toe for the first time while crawling on the PAVEMENT around the pool. I mean, walk already! (Although, really, I'm not encouraging that.)

At the reception several people spoke and said very nice things about the newlyweds. Everyone did a great job of keeping their words short but sweet. The thing that threw me off was the singing. They did not have singers- per say. No, they have a bunch of really talented friends who sang various ballads to the couple. It was like- "quaint family wedding" meets "America's Got Talent". Susan Boyle watch out!

My family- the Kanski's- were all at one table. Not one of us had anything to contribute to this portion of the evening. We are a sad lot.

HOWEVER, you will be happy, although not surprised, to know that I did represent. My aunt, the Mother of the Bride, and I did do a couples country line dance together. No, I wasn't drunk! The bride and groom's friends can not only sing, but they can swing dance like no body's business! I needed to show them that while I am not in any shape to be flipped over someones back and then in turn flip them over my own, I can do-se-do, spin, cheer and clap all at the same time AND to the rhythm of the music pumping out of the speakers.

I love weddings. I love when you can see how happy the couple is, how happy the parents are and how the excitement of the day can make the world stop and speed by all at the same time.

As I have said, when I found out I was having a boy, I was ecstatic, but then I was filled with a feeling similar to hate. This low-grade hatred or hate-lite, is directed toward my future daughter in law. In fact, I have already referred to this woman as bitch. I'm sorry, but it's true. Not only did I carry Parker for 9 months, not only did I have an emergency c-section followed by 2 weeks in the NICU visiting him every day, but every new thing he learns or observes or reacts to, I was, and will continue to be, there. I was with him through all of that and whatever else his life will take us through and she will not ever know or understand this. Even if she has her own son, she will not understand.
I have even made the comment that I hope she does not come from a stable environment, so that I will also be her stand-in mother. I'm greedy.
Mostly, I just hope we- my daughter in law and I- have a better relationship than some other MIL/DIL relationships I know. I do not have a MIL to compare to, so I must judge others, plus, well that is what I do.
I want to love her. I will welcome her with open arms because if Parker chose her, she must be amazing. I know I have years and years until this happens, but if the past year is any indication of how quickly the future years will go by, I will be at his wedding some time next week.

Weddings are great and one of my favorite parts are the father/daughter and mother/son dances- kind of a make new friends, but keep the old feeling.

Congratulation Emily and Joe- Enjoy the ride!! :)

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