Under Pressure

Confession: Long weekend make me itchy.

Josh works a compressed work schedule (CWS) which means he works about an extra hour every day, but he has off every other Friday.  This is mostly a pretty sweet deal. 

Except when P and I are at odds and there are still 3 hours to kill before J gets home.

This past week Josh had off on Friday, and Monday so we were staring down the barrel of a fun filled four day family weekend.  Whenever we are faced with this uninterrupted family time we get excited, but plan way too much, which means we usually get snarky and snappy under the pressure of making each moment perfect and fun and amazing.

When I returned from work on Friday we headed to the barely there Farmer's Market and then to the store for some wine.  Josh was tired.  Parker was cranky.  I was feeling sticky and was quickly developing a monster headache. 

Saturday morning brought bright new beginnings.  P and I made coffee and pumpkin French Toast.  We ate together as a family, then Josh cleaned up our mess.  At some point though, things started to unravel.

I can't even remember what was said, but it was not a positive conversation.  We pushed on and loaded ourselves and the supplies for the day into the family truckster and headed to a pumpkin patch. 

It was unseasonably hot while we trolled around the patch, making our October Fall day more like a mid-August heat wave. 

We had $20 cash and made a strict agreement to not take out any more.  Somewhere along the way, we had a disagreement about who should be doing what and how to spend our last $10 (we ended up buying 2 beers- parents of the year). 

Last year we went to this same pumpkin farm and it was truly one of the best days of the year.  This time around, the day was just filled with this pressure to make it perfect again. 

We pulled P in our little red wagon, he got out, I let go of the wagon to chase him, leaving J with a run away wagon full of pumpkins, mums and slew of other crap not worth itemizing. 

We were sweaty and frustrated.  It was not like last year.

Then we had plans to hit up a cool German themed restaurant for dinner.  While we ate we played along and sang the songs and, despite missing his nap, we were able to coaxed P into happy baby mode.  We drank Gugunshinmen beer and ate uderbraten soaked in drunkenbrstein.  (I'm pulling out my creative spelling license here).

It was not the same as last year.

Sunday we spend the better part of the day- from 10:30a to about 3p searching for my car keys.  They were in my hands then they weren't. 

Vanished. 
Poof. 
Gone.

It was maddening.  I told Josh to just take P, who I was convinced hid the keys, out of the house. 

I needed to search on my own without someone following me around saying, "Mommy train?  Mommy train?" or "Did you check here?  Did you look there? When did you have them last?"

In the end we found them- in a drawer. 
More specifically, in one of my drawers. 
Most specifically, a drawer that is way too high for P to be able to get into. 

I truly have no clue how they got there.  I was stressed.  I was not very nice.  I felt terrible and if Parker was a wee- bit older he would have taken full advantage of my profound guilt.  I'm talking junior mints for dinner followed by popcorn and Yo Gabba Gabba till midnight guilt.

Today P and I cooked almost all day.  He's awesome.  He will stir gentle, pour carefully and taste anything.  He is a forgiving soul- thankfully.  Josh does not hold a grudge- thankfully.

I learned that when faced with a four day family weekend- not every moment has to be fun-filled and your keys are not in the last place you look, but in the last place you THINK to look.  (These are very different things.)