Thursday, January 29, 2009

Um...This May Be Awkward

So I raised a little hell about only having- now 2- followers. *Do not let the word only discourage you, Paul and Nancy. You are both Aces in my book!*
Anyway, since complaining...ok whining about not having as many followers as Nancy, I have been asked by several of you how you can actually become followers.

I will pull back the curtain.

I --

I don't know.

I'm fairly sure it requires a gmail account, blood sample and adopting a small child from a foreign country. Seriously. I think you at least need a gmail account. Past that, I got nothin'.


**UPDATE**- I wrote this and then did some investigatging and changed some of my settings. I'm still not exactly sure how you become a follower, BUT you should be able to leave a comment!! Be nice or I will make it nearly impossible again!

In other news, I foresee a very awkward, I mean more awkward than normal, first kiss in Parker's future. Since the boy does not have any teeth, and there is very little- nothing in fact- I can do to make that happen any quicker coupled with the fact that he now goes into a full blown tantrum at the mere mention of a sucky cup, I have moved on and am trying to teach him other new things.

P.S. I thought I had a bit longer until I had to deal with temper tantrums, but he is my son (read earlier posts related to all my breakdowns in Babies R Us) and his zodiac sign is cancer, as is mine. I fear that in the very near future it is a real possibility that both of us will be screaming and crying on the floor of the local Safeway in a tiff related to the purchasing (or non-purchasing) of Skittles in the checkout line.

Although come to think of it, we were not far off from this the other day. In a Safeway actually. I just needed to pop in for a few quick things. (Just typing that sentence makes me chuckle. Mommies very rarely- if ever- are able to pop in to anything real quick- be it Safeway, jeans, the bathroom...). Pfunk was sitting in the cart. His coat and monkey hat were still on because we were in the produce section and it is darn chilly there. This woman, who had a gaggle of children with her, looked at Parker, looked at me, and said, "Um. His hands are really red." I looked at the hands, looked at her and said:

"Yep."

And rolled on. What I wanted to say was, "Shut the hell up old bag! Why don't you wipe the snot off of junior face before his siter, Sally licks it off herself. Also, your other daughter needs a haircut as she cannot see through those thick bangs she's got going on."

Through the store we kept coming across things like this. People just being generally unaware of how to act in public.

So I did it.

I left a cart, half full of food and other items, in the middle of the meat section. I grabbed Pfunk, my wallet and the recycled grocery bags and we left the store, got in the car and drive across the street to Giant. God that felt good!

In other news related to people saying things they shouldn't. The other day when it was, admittingly, bitter cold outside, I went to the gym and then to get coffee for Josh and me at a local place on my way home. I had just come from the gym and was wearing a fleece and shorts. My plan was to actually just pop in to the coffee place and pop back into the car. No lingering. Popping was possible in this case because I was without Pmoney.

One woman in the coffee shop commented on my bare legs. Her comment was more of a curious question than anything, "Aren't you chilly?" I replied that I just came from the gym and was actually still kind of warm on top, so I could handle 3 minutes of chilly legs. She smiled. Interaction concluded.

As I am leaving the store, this large, bundled up "lady" is walking in. She looks me up and down and says in a loud unfriendly tone. "ARe YoU CRazY?!"

Being caught off guard, I mumbled something about just coming from the gym and left. When I got to my car I realized how rude this "lady" was. I wish I had the nerve (not really) to say, "Yes, I am actually." Then promptly punch her. What if I was crazy? She really took her life in her own hands there. After a few sleepless nights due to a seething teething Pfunk, I can be pretty crazy and cannot be held responsible for my reactions. Just ask Josh.

Wow. That was quite a P.S.

Anyway, I am trying to teach Parker to clap and kiss. Not at the same time. Although that maybe an improvement over what he currently thinks kissing actually is. It takes about 10 kisses on his face and me repeating "kisses" for him to even attempt the act. When he does attmept a kiss, he comes at me, mouth WIDE open and goes straight for my nose, although he will settle for a mouthful of cheek.

Little ladies of 2020(ish), I apologize. All I can say is bring a napkin or two because if things do not improve, I can honestly tell you that you will get wet on this ride.

Clapping is of no interest to him and can go the way of the sucky cup as far as he is concerned.

1 comment:

Libby Krum said...

Yay! Comments! Just wanted to let you know I stopped for groceries on my way back from the gym on Wednesday. An employee followed me around the produce section for at least 5 minutes commenting on my bare and chilly legs.

This is why women carry mace.