Wednesday, March 23, 2011

No Comparison

There were a lot of people in my house growing up. 
Some of us were athletes. 
Some of us were more artsy.
Some of us struggled with grades and for others A's seemed to come easy. 
One thing (of many) my parents did exceptionally well, was not comparing us to each other.  We were encouraged to support each other when we excelled-be it a college lacrosse scholarship or making all county chorus, and when we didn't- bombed the SAT's or crashed our first car. 
We viewed ourselves as a team and although we did fight and we did have moments of jealousy, we were never compared to each other in a negative light.
Parker is a good kid.  He has his moments, hell, he has his string of several days in a row of acting like whiny, inconsolable bugger, but for the most part he is good.When we get out of the car, he stays with me and doesn't run into the street.  He helps put his toys away.  He asks if he can do something or have something before he just takes it.  He will sit at a table in a restaurant while we eat crabs, for hours, and just hang out.
I genuinely appreciate each of these aspects of his character.
However, because he is good (usually), (several) people have made the comment that Peyton will be a terror.  Kind of like the well-behaved lightening won't strike twice.
I know they intend for it to be a joke, or at least I hope that is the case, but it still makes me angry and upset to my very core.
She is not even here yet and people are putting this 'bad girl' label on her. 
I like to think that at least part of the reason Pman is a good kid has something to do with how Josh and I have raised him.  Not just how we discipline him, although that is part of it, but also because he sees how Josh and I treat each other and the people around us.  I hope that he sees positive behavior reaps positive results.
A bit of nurture over nature, if you will.
I expect Peyton will be better behaved in some areas than Parker and vice versa.  Peyton will have her own set of strengths and set of- areas that need improvement.  I hope Parker will help me show her what is acceptable and what is not in our family.
Peyton will have her angelic moments and her bratty ones, I'm sure of it.  We all do.  I just hope the people who are already pinning her to the "bad" category don't miss out on a very special lady who will be here in no time flat.


Sister Catherine said...

Amen to that! My first two were so well-behaved (in my mind anyway) I could take them everywhere, well maybe not clothes shopping for very long, but I always enjoyed their company. My favorite thing to say (with a smile) in public when I've got a misbehaving toddler, "some days are like that." A gentle reminder to my fellow mankind that we are all just human.

Lynsey said...

really! talk about prejudice : / poor little P2 isn't even born yet, I'm sure she'll be a perfect little angel just like all the other girls in the family! LOL hahaha that was funny.. anyway, really, positive behavior deserves positive results, P1 has learned that from you and Josh, so she will too :)

Minivan Lover said...

Thanks ladies! Your words really help:) I love P1 and P2 :)

ModernMom said...

I say replace the word "bad" with strong willed and independant!

Mikaela said...

Don't even get me started. The awesome thing (in my experience) with having a 2nd baby is that everything is new again. What worked with P1 might not work with P2. What made him cry will make her laugh and vice versa. It makes the adventure that much more exciting!!