Friday, September 26, 2008

Harvard? Is that you on the phone...

MENSA should be beating down my front door any minute.

Parker is 3 months old and he is holding his own rattle and...AND the boy genius rolled over! Clearly we have the next Phelps on our hands here...rolling over from your tummy to your back is an Olympic event, right?

I have packed away all of his newborn and 0-3 month clothes and washed and put away his "big boy" 3-6 month clothes.

He rolls all around in his crib and when I go to get him in the morning- after he has SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT- he is rarely in the same position he was in when I left him.

Now, I realize that this brings wonder and amazement to me and all who know me. Parker is growing so much and literally seems to change everyday or at least every 3 days. After a nap he loves to cuddle with his mom and he is starting to pay more and more attention when I read to him at night.

However, he is still very much a baby. I mean he doesn't even have teeth and he drools on himself regularly...wait doesn't that describe at least half of the guys I knew in college? Anyway, he is a baby...he poops in his pants and wait actually I think I knew some guys in college who did
that too...I'm getting distracted here and little off topic...
P.S. his pooping issues seem to be under control for now.

Let me try another approach.
A few weeks ago Josh and I celebrated 2 years of wedded bliss. We decided to go out to dinner mainly because it was that or have Doritos and Zima for dinner to celebrate the occasion. It was a Monday night and we figured most restaurants would be empty, so taking the monkey with us would be ok. Sometimes he can be a shall I say this...socially unacceptable.
We were correct about the resturant being empty. (And the monkey was very well behaved.)

So, as we wheeled Parker up to the hostess stand.

In his stroller.

He was laying down in.

Because although he is a boy genius he cannot sit up yet. The young, naive hostess asked us if we want a kids menu.


Why do you have my breast milk as a feature item?

Bless her heart, sweet little thing.

I told her no, he has no teeth and I have a bottle for him.

A few days later I went out to lunch with a friend and Parker and the hostess asked if I wanted a highchair.

Well thank you darlin! While I only have about 3 to 5 more pounds to go until I am at my pre-baby weight, my ass is not small enough to fit into one of those cute high chairs. Also, I am tall enough to not only sit at the "grown-up table" but see over it as well!

When she pointed to Parker, who was busy bouncing his head around like that of a minor league baseball players' bobble-head doll they give out on opening day, I simply shook my head and said he was fine in the stroller.

All that aside. On to another one of my favorite topics: Ice cream.
Have you heard that some group in Europe somewhere wants Ben and Jerry's to start using breast milk, instead of cows milk, in their ice cream. Human breast milk.

Aside from the gross...extremely gross factor of breast milk in ice cream, who in their right mind would sign up to donate this milk. Would this be an acutal job with a W-2 and pention plan? "Hi my name is Nikki Phillips and I am here to hook-up ala cow on a dairy farm style! When is my lunch break?"

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