When I was pregnant the second time and found out I was having a girl, I figured the beginning of a gender identification/difference conversation was right around the corner.
I figured Pman was going to wonder why she looked different than him.
My parents were very honest about all thing sex and gender with us. Nothing inapproriate, but they were not cutesy or coy. If we had a question, they gave us the answer without making us feel ashamed or embarrassed.
When my mom was pregnant with my younger sister, she bought us a "How Babies are Born" type of book, complete with graphics of various stages of puberty.
My older brother, sister and I LOVED that book.
I have taken the same approach to educating my children about sex and the like. I answer questions honestly and appropriately for their age. No need to discuss fallopian tubes with a 3 year old.
Surprisingly, it never happened. All he wanted to know is when she was going to grow hair/stop crying/ be able to play/ talk.
Every time I changed BL's diaper or gave her a bath with Pman around, I would sort brace myself and watch him. I was sure the questions were on the tip of his tongue.
I always joked that he must of thought her penis had not grown yet or something.
Eventually they started taking baths together, something they still love to do. BL was the first one to acknowledge the outward biological difference. She would scrutanize poor Pman like his body was some sort of UFO (unidentified floating object).
We had several quick, but serious conversation about what a private area is and that you can touch your own body, but you cannot touch someone else's and they cannot touch you. I did not get into technical names and they did not really ask. "Private area" seemed to satisfy their minimal curosity.
On Sunday I was getting BL dressed and Pman was hanging out in her room. She patted her Pull- Up (we are in semi-potty training mode) and said, "This is mine. It's private."
I told her she was right and "it" was actually called a vagina, then keeping all things equal, told them both that boys have a penis.
I started in on my whole lecture about private area, no touching or looking and telling mommy or daddy if someone makes them do something uncomfortable. The usual, but important, aspects of private areas.
Pman sat in the rocking chair. I could see him thinking.
I asked him if he had any questions and he said, "What is BL penis called again?"
Back to the drawing board...hey a drawing board....